After asking his teacher for a hall pass, she gave him a Khyber Pass instead. Thoroughly confused, Dolph Pankett roamed South America for a decade before discovering his true calling. His true calling tended bar in an unreachable saloon on the Atacama Desert. Brenda Furth was his true calling’s name. She gave him 3 ounces of coal and sent him on his way. More than thoroughly confused, he vowed to set up a proper retirement account if the full moon would allow it. The full moon acquiesced, and Dolph Pankett died in luxurious splendor. Coming back to life to make certain his shoes had been properly polished, Dolph was sidetracked by the California Zephyr and placed on display in a dollhouse built near the Hoover Dam. He spent the rest of his lives and several deaths wandering in confusion from room to room. Then he had pancakes. Or were they?
Voice over radio: Mayday! Mayday! Can anybody hear me? Mayday!
Voice replying: I hear you. I know it’s the first day of May. Do you know it’s 2 o’ clock in the morning? (angrily switches off radio)
Life is like a burned tomato. I’m not sure exactly how, but I believe it to be so.
There once was a farmer named Bill
Who sat on the top of a hill
For days and for days, and his neighbor Al says,
‘If he’s not gone, he’s sitting there still.’
Dial M For Mahatma Gandhi
The River Of No Deposit, No Return
Quo Vadis Nevermore
The Heart Is A Lonely Bandleader
Meyers snapped his briefcase shut and nodded once firmly, well satisfied with the completion of yet another day’s work. He donned his fedora, nodded good evening to the receptionist, nodded good evening to Eddie, the elevator boy, and nodded farewell to Harwell, the guard stationed in the lobby. He passed through the revolving door and turned right in his usual manner, in pursuit of a single martini at Bellico’s before heading home. Partwell, the cop, tapped his cap with his nightstick as Meyers passed by. Meyers nodded. He paused beneath the blue pulsing neon sign of Bellico’s, pushed the dark door open, and entered. Shocked, he stood stock still. There, at the green glow bar, his usual seat was occupied. Meyers, grief stricken, slumped to the floor weeping.
‘Not to worry, buddy,’ said Charlie, the bartender. ‘If you’ll just slide down one place, everything will be aces.’
The patron, though taken somewhat aback, complied.
Meyers crawled to his usual seat, stifling whimpers. He sat, head down. Charlie placed the martini on the bar in front of Meyers. Emitting a great heartfelt sigh, Meyers continued tracing the pattern of his usual day.