‘My knives aren’t sharp enough!’ cried the wildly gesticulating man careening down the sidewalk and clad in tattered rags.
A phalanx of assorted businessmen and women tackled him and, forming a writhing lump of humanity, sharpened his knives for him and then released him to freely careen on his merry way.
The world sighed, once for humanity, twice for itself.
perry o’dontal danced a jig,
went to town, bought a wig,
perry o’dontal ate a fig,
drank some ale, sought a pig
perry o’dontal wandered away
with pig and wig to end the day
The correct answer is ‘all of the above’.
Sir Hat of the Fen entered the lists perched securely on the back of his powerful glowing steed.
‘Easy, my gallant,’ soothed Sir Hat, and the steed shuddered, shaking its feathered mane.
Across the field the Red Knight lowered his lance and charged.
Sir Hat responded in kind and surged bucketty clatter forward.
Two lances crashed true. Two knights, unhorsed, rolled in dirt.
‘We’ll have to do it again. A plane went over,’ said the assistant director’s assistant.
Two actors, muttering epithets, limped back to their starting positions.
A trial balloon was on display
in my cave the other day.
The judge herself gave it to me
when a jury of peers set me free.
Oh, happy as a lark am I
with many another fish to fry.
Tears of joy spill from my eye.
Serenity mine ’til by and by
a happy cyclops will I die.
The author presents us with an incandescent congeries of ripe brain splattered shards infinitely convoluted while at the same time illustrating an irretrievably sane approach to dairy farming.