THE HIKE OF STEEPNESS
going up hill is grand
with an extra lung at hand
if you must do with a paltry two
frequent rests are called for, it’s true
crawling on hands and knees
may prevent a cardiac seize
really it might be best
to remain at home and rest
A TREE ACCESSORIZES
ONE THING HISTORICAL
Well, see them boulders scattered about yon. Was a time when the Washoe people come up to summer at the lake and their women folk pounded pine nuts on ‘em. As purty a little stream as you’ll ever see flows down along by that stand o’ trees afore it gives itself up to jine forces with the marsh. Them days is long gone for sure, but by cracky, the redwing blackbirds still flits about shoutin’ their sass, don’t they?
BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – LON CHANEY SR
Loon: I’m excited to welcome the ghost of the one and only wolfman to the 3 question interview. First question. Sir, is it harder to brush your teeth when you change into a wolfman?
Ghost of Lon Chaney Sr: A wolfman is one of the few creatures I haven’t been, friend. That was my son who played the wolfman. If you want to speak of hunchbacks and phantoms, I’m your man.
Loon: You weren’t the wolfman?
Ghost of Lon Chaney Sr: No, my son Creighton was the wolfman. He was also excellent, might I say definitive, playing the role of Lenny in Of Mice and Men.
Loon: Not the wolfman?
Ghost of Lon Chaney Sr: Sorry, old sport. That’s my Gatsby. Pretty good, eh?
(Loon leaves the room. Ghost of Lon Chaney Sr changes into a thousand faces and explodes.)
A SENTENCE BY SEAMUS HEANEY
Meanwhile, the sword began to wilt into gory icicles, to slather and thaw.
I hate it when my sword does that.
THE JENNY LIND KWIZ ANSWER
‘Hey, why not’ is the correct answer, as those were the exact words spoken by team leader Grady Bafflemint after a grueling 5 hour session with the publicity gang during which no consensus whatsoever could be reached on finding a catchy nickname for the foreign tunestress.
THE JENNY LIND KWIZ
Jenny was called The Swedish Nightingale because:
a. she was both Swedish and a nightingale.
b. the only other suggestion was Bingles, the Opera Girl.
c. she once taught a nightingale to speak Swedish.
d. because people kept getting her mixed up with Florence Nightingale, and she grew tired of being asked to look at wounds.
e. hey, why not?
L. FRANK BAUM’S MOTHER-IN-LAW
Today is the anniversary of L’s birth. Happy birthday, L. Not a lot of folks nowadays know that your mother-in-law, Matilda Gage, was one of the 3 pillars of the 19th century feminist movement along with Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony. As you probably remember, your wife’s name was Maud. Maud and Matilda, M and M. Is that where you got Auntie Em? I was curious, knowing how you loved wordplay and puns and anagrams and such.
NERVOUS, THEY WAIT
nervous, they wait
poised motionless
hearts thrumming
like windblown caterpillars
riding the dawn
soon
soon
but not yet













