BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – THEODORE GEISEL

February 25, 2018

Loon: A person I have never heard of is our celebrity ghost today for the 3 Question Interview. He is a man with the severely odd name of Theodore Geisel. Mr. Geisel, why have I never heard of you?

Ghost of Geisel: You might know me by my pen name, Dr. Seuss.

Loon: Oh, a doctor! No wonder. I have never seen a doctor. Is your specialty something to do with stethoscopes?

Ghost of Geisel: I am not a medical doctor. I am an artist and a proctor. Sorry, I meant to say artist and writer.

Loon: You should make a decision. It is best to stick with one thing. Have you ever been to the top of the Empire State Building?

Ghost of Geisel: Yes. I have a funny story about that.

Loon: We have run out of time. Good-bye.

(Loon runs off to a call of nature, leaving behind a perplexed Geisel.)

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NOT SHRINKING VIOLETS

February 24, 2018

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THE MARLENE DIETRICH KWIZ ANSWER

February 23, 2018

D and C are acceptable because technically it is hard to call it breakfast when it is 2 o’clock in the afternoon.

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THE MARLENE DIETRICH KWIZ

February 22, 2018

Marlene is:

a. preparing to attack breakfast.

b. on the verge of collapse.

c. calculating the odds of successfully crossing the room in her current mental state.

d. all of the above.

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EXPLOSION IN THE GREENHOUSE

February 21, 2018

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PORCUPINES

February 20, 2018

Having no tarps to mend, four tarpmenders sat around a table playing cards. The door flashed open.

Little Alice stuck her head inside and said, “The porcupines are wearing pants. They invited me to join their dance.” She pulled her head back and slammed the door.

The tarpmenders looked at one another, shrugged, and returned to their game. Time passed. The door flashed open again.

“The porcupines are telling lies. They say the world is ruled by flies,” announced Little Alice. She pulled her head back and slammed the door.

The tarpmenders exchanged glances. One of them, Little Alice’s father, coughed an embarrassed sort of cough. They returned to their game. Time passed. The door flashed open.

“The porcupines have built a house big enough to house a mouse,” said Little Alice. The door slammed.

Little Alice’s father stood up and said, “My friends, I have to leave now. When the porcupines build the mouse house, that means they have given final fair warning.” He exited.

Little Alice and her father, hand in hand, led the porcupines home. Thanks to them, they would not be late for supper.

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THE BASIC DIFFERENCE

February 19, 2018

President #44 = a decent human being

President #45 = a monster

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MUCH NEEDED SERENITY AID

February 18, 2018

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CALMING CANOPY

February 17, 2018

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THE IMPOSSIBLY YOUNG BETTE DAVIS KWIZ ANSWER

February 16, 2018

A mere eight days after this photo was taken, Bette began her lifelong passionate love affair with cigarettes.

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