THE C. AUBREY/HENRY KWIZ

July 27, 2017

In this scene, C Aubrey Smith is chastising Henry Wilcoxon for:

a. yodeling during vespers.

b. eating the last marshmallow.

c. the pig bladder whoopee cushion incident.

d. impersonating an owl without the King’s blessing.

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LEMON YELLOW

July 26, 2017

The girl in the lemon yellow dress left the party to step out onto the balcony for a moment so that she might somehow bring calm to her wildly chaotic mind and, in so doing, fully comprehend the recent event.  She gazed across the 25 story plummet to the balcony opposite, where she saw a girl in a lemon yellow dress leaning on the railing and returning her gaze.

‘Did you do it?’ called the leaning girl.

This simple question called from one balcony to another instantly swept chaos away into the night. The girl in the lemon yellow dress calmed, shoulders dropping, jaw relaxing. Her eyes glistened. A modest smile traced her lips.

‘Yes, I did,’ she answered.

The girl on the balcony opposite nodded once and retreated into darkness without another word or glance.

‘Oh, here you are. No one can find Reggie. Do you know where he is?’ said the party’s host, stepping out onto the balcony.

The girl in the lemon yellow dress turned. The modest smile tracing her lips remained in place.

 

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SIX WORD NOVEL

July 25, 2017

Bloodstain. The smiling buffalo protects Amanda.

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TODAY’S MENU

July 24, 2017

Fuel Injected Tofu

Buttered Krill On Thrice Folded Mushroom Rafts

Tortured Greens With A Rendered Liquid Salt And Caramel Dressing

Ivy Surrounded By A Severely Spun Calico Brittle

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BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – THOMAS JEFFERSON.

July 23, 2017

Loon: It is with incumbent joy that I accept delivery from the Lords of the 4th Dimension for the 3 Question Interview one Thomas L. Jefferson, 2nd president of the Continental Congress’s Untied States of America. Mr. Jefferson, a lot of books have been written about you. Do you agree?

Jefferson’s ghost: Yes.

Loon: Did you really write the Gettysburg Address on the back of an envelope?

Jefferson’s ghost: I did not write the Gettysburg Address.

Loon: Interesting. Do you know who did?

Jefferson’s ghost: Without doubt.

Loon: Excellent. That’s all for this week’s 3 Question Interview. Thank you and good-bye.

Jefferson’s ghost: Farewell.

(Loon and Jefferson’s ghost exit room simultaneously, Loon through the door, Jefferson’s ghost through the wall.)

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RANDOM GENETIC DRIFT

July 22, 2017

random genetic drift

an anthropological term

i admire anthropo logic as much as the next guy

but for me in my youth

traveling from Big Sur to Lake Tahoe to Reno to Bakersfield

was the living embodiment of

random genetic drift

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THE GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL KWIZ ANSWER

July 21, 2017

The answer is everything. The guy does it all.

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THE GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL KWIZ

July 20, 2017

This government official was appointed by Donald Trump to oversee:

a. the preparation of cheeseburgers and the defense department.

b. golf course landscaping and the appointment of ambassadors to foreign nations.

c. the orange skin products and environmental destruction.

d. all of the above plus cyber hacking coordination and chocolate cakes.

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COMMON PRESIDENTIAL HEADLINE

July 19, 2017

IRASCIBLE TUB OF GOO PLAYS GOLF

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BUGS

July 18, 2017

bugs make a terrific paste

not to everyone’s taste

i make haste

to acknowledge

simply baste

with toxic waste

effluvium laced

for optimum enjoyment

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