THE JULIE ANDREWS MY FAIR LADY KWIZ ANSWER

February 22, 2019

Mister Wrinkle, aka Rex Harrison, in turn affectionately called Julie ‘Little Miss Smoothbrow’.

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THE JULIE ANDREWS MY FAIR LADY KWIZ

February 21, 2019

During rehearsal for ‘My Fair Lady’, Julie Andrews:

a. always showed up drunk.

b. slept on a bed of nails.

c. called Rex Harrison ‘Mister Wrinkle’.

d. dallied in the black arts.

e. had to be talked out of shaving her head for the role.

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BAWDY YET DAINTY LIMERICKS

February 20, 2019

There once was a crofter named Jones
Who was constantly badgered by crones
One day he asked why
And was told, “My oh my,
Be grateful we don’t grind your bones.”

There once was a surly young peasant
Whose life was quite frankly unpleasant
Until he met up
With the Duchess of Tup
Who gave him a sensual present

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FAVORITE LOON TOASTS

February 19, 2019

1. May you never be bitten by a rabid librarian.

2. May you never have to rely on a cobra for moral support.

3. May you never sign a contract to invent something in Antarctica.

4. May you never be required to send get well cookies to a bison.

5. May you always have harps in your parlor and a nose full of butter.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANDRE BRETON

February 18, 2019

happy birthday andy

sandy dandy candy

the chair is gold

it melted

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BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – PHIL SILVERS

February 17, 2019

Loon: The Lords of the 4th Dimension have produced the ghost of someone named Phil Silvers for this weeks 3 Question Interview. Mr. Silvers, were you a pirate?

Ghost of Silvers: Whadda ya mean a pirate? Where did they get this guy?

Loon: I was informed that you were a top banana. I wondered if that was some sort of pirate. What else could it possibly be?

Ghost of Silvers (grabs Loon by back of neck, pulls him forward): Come closer, pal. Try to focus (slaps Loon on cheek). Focus (slap). Focus (slap). You got it now? (Loon nods.) Then forget it (slap).

Loon (visibly shaken): What is happening?

Ghost of Silvers: For this I left the gates of pearl? (flies away)

Loon (swooning): I was …

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GHOSTLY WANDERERS

February 16, 2019

ghostly wanderers

searching

not finding

forever

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THE PHYLLIS CALVERT VALENTINE KWIZ ANSWER

February 15, 2019

She regretted paying the sorcerer for that glimpse into the 21st century.

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THE PHYLLIS CALVERT VALENTINE KWIZ

February 14, 2019

Phyllis reacts when her unveiled Valentine turns out to be:

a. Hitler.

b. a churning mass of vipers.

c. a rhinoceros.

d. a glimpse of the future.

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ALTERNATIVES TO ‘WELL, I’LL BE DARNED.’

February 13, 2019

“Well, lop off my arms and call me Venus.”

“Well, get out the razor and render me hairless.”

“Well, dip me in vinegar and call me salad.”

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