HEAVEN’S COMB

May 22, 2017

heaven’s comb has many teeth

it also rides a harley

it roars across the rainbow heath

and dines on oats and barley

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BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – JAMES DEAN

May 21, 2017

Loon: The Lords of the 4th Dimension have seen fit to bring one James Dean to undergo today’s 3 Question Interview. I am informed that Mr. Dean acted in some motion pictures. Tell me, Mr. Dean, when did you have time to invent those yummy sausages while acting so much?

Dean’s ghost (Cocks head to the left. Half smiles): Are you for real, mister?

Loon: I think so. Did you like your eggs scrambled or over easy?

Dean’s ghost (Rolls eyes skyward): Eggs are unborn chickens.

Loon: I know. What was your favorite day of the week?

Dean’s ghost (Touches brim of hat. Turns away): I’ll be going now. Take care. (Ambles off)

Loon , rictus grinning, statue standing, eyes rapidly blinking, continues to be alive.

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SEEKING ADVICE

May 20, 2017

Defendant: Do you think I should plead ‘temporary insanity’?

Lawyer: In your case, I would recommend pleading ‘permanent insanity’. Ba ding.

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THE AFRICAN QUEEN KWIZ ANSWER

May 19, 2017

John Huston had lots of fun with his bucket of standby rubber leeches.

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THE AFRICAN QUEEN KWIZ

May 18, 2017

After shooting this scene:

a. Bogie and Kate wrestled John Huston to the ground and worked a mixture of honey and mud into his hair.

b. Kate forced John Huston to play a game of ‘Dodge the Machete’.

c. Bogie cleaned up nice and hosted high tea with his lovely wife, Mrs. Bogie.

d. John Huston playfully poured a bucket of standby leeches down Bogie’s pants.

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THE KID

May 17, 2017

I’m telling you, J.B., this kid is worth a look.

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CALLIOPE TINDALE

May 16, 2017

Calliope Tindale sat in the far corner where she had a clear view of the entrance. She trusted nobody and had her reasons.

The waitress approached and said, ‘What’ll it be, luv?’

‘I trust nobody and have my reasons. Is the egg salad guaranteed fresh?’ answered Calliope.

‘Sure it is,’ said the waitress.

‘I don’t trust you. Bring me a glass of water, and keep in sight so I can see you pour it,’ said Calliope.

The waitress, Dot, went through an elaborate performance obtaining the water. She rolled her eyes at Al when he emerged from the kitchen. She indicated with a slight elbow jab Calliope seated in the far corner. She delivered the water to Calliope.

‘Who’s that guy? I don’t trust him,’ said Calliope.

‘It’s Al. He owns the place, ya know, like it says on the sign outside, Al’s,’ said Dot.

Calliope took a small sip of water and grimaced.

‘This is no good. There’s something in it,’ said Calliope, and she sprang to her feet and raced out the door.

‘Takes all kinds,’ commented Al.

Dot agreed with a nod.

Calliope Tindale fled to the nearest alley. She scurried to a trash bin, raised the lid, climbed in, lowered the lid, sank down, hugged herself, lowered her chin.

‘I trust nobody and have my reasons,’ she murmured.

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PLAY DATE

May 15, 2017

The Goodwin twins welcome Hannah Holden to their home for a play date.

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BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – AMELIA EARHART

May 14, 2017

Loon: For this Mother’s Day, what could be more appropriate for the Lords of the 4th Dimension to deliver to us for the 3 Question Interview than Amelia Earhart, the very famous woman. With the headgear and togs you’re wearing, Amelia, may I assume you were some sort of jockey?

Earhart’s ghost: I was not.

Loon: Well, following up, did you like horses?

Earhart’s ghost: Yes.

Loon: Ah, now we’re getting somewhere. Finally, did you ever eat at one of those automat places?

Earhart’s ghost: Sometimes.

Loon: Thank you and good-bye.

(Loon traipses off, wagging his head from side to side. Earhart’s ghost aviates away.)

 

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JERUSALEM AGAIN

May 13, 2017

The tear-streaked tomato of May’s face ripens towards its bursting point.

Alan Moore’s novel is certain to be among the contenders for greatest novel of the 21st century.

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