THE HALLOWEEN OWL MAN KWIZ

October 30, 2014
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owl man

The Halloween owl man is famous primarily for:

a. creating the flakiest pie crusts in all of Zombieland.

b. slashing things to ribbons.

c. consuming 18 cows at one sitting.

d. hypnotizing Godzilla.

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THE TRIFFID PHILOSOPHER

October 29, 2014
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2014-10-28 10.55.46

The loon held a lengthy discussion with this triffid philosopher and was sent on his way with these words of wisdom from the alien plant: ‘If not now, who? If not then, where?’

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THE HAUNTED PUMPKIN PATCH

October 28, 2014

robot helm

The owner of the pumpkin patch concludes his haunting spiel with an offer of $10,000 dollars to anyone brave enough to spend Halloween night manacled to the skeleton scarecrow in the middle of the pumpkin patch. His harrowing tale of past Halloweens here has blanketed the few gathered with terrified silence. You, however, are made of sterner stuff. You step forward and volunteer loudly. The owner smiles.

It is Halloween night, and you are staring at the moon while manacled to the ridiculous skeleton scarecrow. You are warmly bundled against the chill air and grow drowsy. Half asleep, you sense movement. Your head snaps back, and you stare at the grinning skeleton. Stupid dream, you think. You note that the moon has made substantial progress across the black sky. Slept longer than I thought, you think. You flex your legs and waggle your head, adjusting to a new comfort. You nod off again, head lolling forward. In your dream the skeleton taps you on the neck. You awake. The moon is gone, leaving behind an inky sky sprayed with stars. You feel another tap, as if from an icy finger tip, on your neck. You turn your head. There she is. You die.

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MAMA GAIA’S RASH DECISION

October 27, 2014

2014-10-26 14.09.38

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DAFFYNITION

October 26, 2014

doldrums – Raggedy Ann’s bongos

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PRE-HALLOWEEN WINTER SOLSTICE GREETING

October 25, 2014

2014-10-22 10.58.01

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THE INVISIBLE MAN KWIZ ANSWER

October 24, 2014

And a very fine dentist he was, too. Alfred Hitchcock was one of his patients.

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THE INVISIBLE MAN KWIZ

October 23, 2014

invisible-man2

During the filming of The Invisible Man, Claude Rains:

a. got sick and tired of the grip who stepped on his foot every day and said, ‘Sorry, I didn’t see you.’

b. roller skated to and from lunch every day.

c. practiced his maniacal cackle at night on the corner of Sunset and Vine.

d. became a dentist.

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QUESTIONABLE EPITHET

October 22, 2014

‘Out of my way, you dung-headed bug faucet.’

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DILEMMA

October 21, 2014
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Nervous as a wreck was Carl. This very night he would be installed as the new Bright Lantern, head of SARIL. the Society to Advance the Righteous Indignation of Loons. He gazed into his closet and confronted his dilemma. Which of the two evening gowns hanging there would be the proper one to wear? The fishing gown or the combat gown? On one of the hands, the fishing gown with its many barbed lures was the picture of strapless elegance. On one of the other hands, the combat gown did boast a sequined holster. Carl’s eyes flicked left, right, left, right. Which? Which? Zafoo! was the sound an idea made bursting into Carl’s head. Carl smiled.

The installation of Carl as Bright Lantern went off beautifully. The membership was impressed and mumbled incessantly about the glorious look of Carl in his gown of many raccoons.

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