THE JACK WARNER’S MUSTACHE KWIZ

June 21, 2018

Jack’s mustache:

a. was a highly trained troop of ants.

b. often drank at night with the ghost of Nikolai Gogol’s nose.

c. was the arch enemy of Jack’s eyebrows.

d. colluded with the tiny starfish on the knot of Jack’s tie.

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JULIA MILLS

June 20, 2018

‘Have you ever been in thrall to the venerable bede?

I have since long ago when first I learned to read.

And now I must away, to live another day.’

Thus so saying, with visage stern,

Julia Mills, Julia Mills, ran away beyond the hills

never to return.

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GAIA SHOWS OFF

June 19, 2018

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UNDER MOONLIGHT

June 18, 2018

The moon, full fat, begins its sky climb by sliding up from behind the abandoned lighthouse. You survey the beach and the gentle churning of the surf. Not a living creature do you see. Are you really and truly finally safe? You take two deep breaths and step out into the open. You freeze and listen. Measured rustle of spilling waves and nothing other. Intensely aware, you cross the sand and, with no delay, plow straight into the water. Confidence expands. You are in your element. Down you plunge to snake powerfully forward. Thrust and surge, you glide in joy. Until. Your ankle. Something has grasped your ankle. You are pulled backwards and up. You are hauled from the sea to dangle, hanging upside down, thrashing. A boat. Ah. You see her. There she is. You die.

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BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – ETHEL MERMAN

June 17, 2018

Loon: For the 3 Question Interview, the Lords of the 4th Dimension have produced for our encouragement today a famous stage performing singer I have never heard of, Ethel Merman. Welcome, shouldn’t your name be Ethel Mermaid instead of Merman?

Merman’s ghost: Is that supposed to be funny? And it’s Zimmerman to you, pal.

Loon: Ah. I hear by the pain in my ear that you probably can sing loud. Did you sing loud?

Merman’s ghost: Loud. Soft. Whatever you need, I got it.

Loon: Finally, do you have any advice for young performers?

Merman’s ghost: Yeah. Get up there and do it. Don’t mess around. Is that it? (leaves swiftly)

Loon: Join me next week for another fascinating in depth probe of ghostly wisdom. (puffs up, impressed with self)

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THE BLOOMSDAY TOAST

June 16, 2018

Here’s to –
Nora the barnacle goose –
Skin-the-Goat –
the giggle fit of bronze by gold –
the blind stripling piano tuner tap tap tapping along –
the dog’s rag of wolf’s tongue redpanting from his jaws-
Stephen deep in thought strolling on Sandymount Strand –
socks with skyblue clocks, jaunty –
Plumtree’s Potted Meats, which can make of each home an abode of bliss –
Rose of Castille and rows of cast steel –
met him pike hoses –
Come forth, Lazarus! And he came fifth and lost the job –
On his wise shoulders through the checkerwork of leaves the sun flung spangles, dancing coins –
Private Carr and his escalating oath –
lame Gerty limping, a dreamer –
those lovely seaside girls –
the heaventree of stars hung with humid nightblue fruit –
Could a swim duck? Says I –
yes

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THE FAY WRAY WHEN VERY YOUNG KWIZ ANSWER

June 15, 2018

She batted her eyelids, and the gullible tourists lined up to buy sand.

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THE FAY WRAY WHEN VERY YOUNG KWIZ

June 14, 2018
Tags:

When she was this young, Fay:

a. designed, built, and fired a torpedo.

b. never ever screamed, not even once.

c. sold buckets of beach sand to gullible tourists.

d. scaled the Matterhorn dressed as an owl.

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CRESCENTS

June 13, 2018

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NEW TITLE COMING SOON

June 12, 2018

How To Manipulate A Buffoon by Kim Jong Un

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