July 2, 2009

The Brawl

The Theory of Natural Selection came at E = MC Squared with a long looping right while shouting, “Take it back, you cur!”

Sidestepping with the speed of light, E = MC Squared easily avoided the blow and snarled, “In your dreams, mutation!”

Fortunately, Ode on a Grecian Urn happened to be walking the beat and came upon the scene.  Thrusting himself with authority between the two combatants, Ode on a Grecian Urn said, “I say, I say.  Wot’s all this then?”

Held in the powerful grip of the poem, the quarreling theories subdued somewhat.

“He said my girlfriend was easy,” complained the Theory of Natural Selection.

“Not a polite thing to say, not polite at all,” said Ode on a Grecian Urn, turning his exquisitely metered gaze onto E = MC Squared.

“I didn’t mean easy like easy.  I meant easy like not difficult,” was E = MC Squared’s explanation.

“I don’t see the sense of it,” commented Ode on a Grecian Urn.

“Well, have a look at her,” said E = MC Squared, nodding in the direction of the doorway to the pub.  “See what I mean?”

Ode on a Grecian Urn had a look, was satisfied, and sent E = MC Squared off down the street while maintaining his grip on the Theory of Natural Selection.  After E = MC Squared turned the corner, Ode on a Grecian Urn released the Theory of Natural Selection, gave him a friendly jab on the shoulder and some advise.

“You’d best be getting along now, and don’t be ready so quick to flare.  ‘Twas a simple misunderstanding is all that it really was.”

2 + 2 = 4, demure in high heels, miniskirt, tube top, and with a skeleton key through her nose, stepped forward and linked arms with the Theory of Natural Selection.

“Thank you, officer,” she said in a small shy voice.

Ode on a Grecian Urn tapped his helmet with his nightstick and rocked back and forth, heel to toe, as he watched the couple disappear into the pub.

Moral: When theories collide, it’s sometimes prudent to take a poetry break.



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