November 12, 2009

The Impertinent Quince

“Are you one of those quinces we’ve heard so much about?” asked one of the avocados pleasantly, just to be polite, just to make the newcomer feel welcome.

“What’s it to you?” was the quince’s rude reply. “Is that your skin or did somebody green vomit on you?”

“Well, I never!” uttered the avocado, stunned and offended.

“I can believe that. A fat blob like you couldn’t if it wanted to, whatever it was!” said the quince.

With a haste rarely seen, the avocados rolled from the bowl with what dignity was possible for avocados and wibble wobbled down the length of the counter to gather next to the microwave oven.

“Geez, I thought they’d never leave,” said the quince.

“It’s a yellow apple. A SOUR ONE!” called out the boldest of the avocados.

“I’ll be a preserve. What’ll you be? GUAC! HA!” shouted the quince.

The avocados were stuck for a snappy comeback, so they opted for haughty silence. They wished that they really were alligators, instead of merely being called alligator pears. Then they would give that insufferable quince a lesson in manners not soon to be forgotten.

Moral: Rudeness is not exclusive to the animal kingdom.

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