THE BEAST WITH FIVE EYES
February 6, 2010
The beast with five eyes entertained lavishly, sparing no expense. Chandeliers hung from chandeliers. Each footman was issued a pair of Gatling guns and a gold-studded thermometer. Every member of the kitchen staff was frosted with live minks. On arrival, guests were dipped in a large vat of chocolate and ushered into the main ballroom to be licked by wolves. The 320 piece orchestra played requests, most of which were ‘Help me, I’m being licked by wolves.’ The evening’s successful culmination featured the beast with five eyes, a unicycle, a harp on fire, and two pixies.
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