September 28, 2010

Pick up lines are rarely able to cross the barrier between species. The following examples, highly successful in the proper animal context, turn out to be nearly 100% failures when attempted by humans.

“Wow! You’re the fattest sow I’ve ever seen!” has a 94% success rate among swine. In contrast, human success with the same line weighs in at a lowly 3%.

“I just had to come over and see if you smell as bad as my friend says you do. And I must say, you really do stink.” wins over 98% of all skunks. Among humans, sad to say, the result is a paltry 1.4%.

“Mind if I nuzzle your flank?” rates a healthy score of 83% with horses. Surprisingly, humans get a not insignificant hit of 14% with the same line. The level of inebriation seems to be involved here to some degree.

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