How was it possible for a nose – which had only yesterday been on his face and could neither drive nor walk – to be in uniform! The loon pays humble homage to his 19th century direct ancestor and superior.
“This company hasn’t made one damned move since I was hired.”
The answer to yesterday’s kwiz is, of course, ‘c’, the hula hoop. One day by the local fjord in 765 AD, Erik the Mild braided pliant twigs into a hoop and wrapped them in available entrails. Can you imagine the terror struck into the hearts of monks when a band of hairy putrid screaming creatures [...]
The most surprising Viking invention was: a. the Ken doll b. the lorgnette c. the hula hoop d. nail clippers e. gastroenteritis Answer revealed tomorrow in this space
1. Don’t hire cannibal bellhops. (“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather carry your own luggage?” said the cannibal bellhop, struggling to control his naughty urge.) 2. Keep extra frogs in the cash drawer. (“We’re out of change, ma’am. Will you accept these frogs instead?”) 3. Hit random customers in the face with a sock full [...]
The loon’s unicorn parks her Harley in this copse when she returns from her mud wrestling gigs in Modesto.
“Here’s my vision, see. We’ll tear all this stuff out, level it, and pave it over. Extra parking for the new tire burning factory next door, right? Am I a genius or what? A little further down the line, we’re hoping to drain the lake and make it into a state of the art garbage [...]
One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats, and if some of these can be inexpensive and quickly procured so much the better. By Jove, she’s got it. And not only that, but she went and put it into the mouth of her narrator in The Sea, The Sea.
“You know, random thoughts drift through the mind as one plods along in a haze of boredom. And it just occurred to me that ‘whinny’ is a very funny word. Think about it. And ‘nicker’, too. Do you realize that we, as horses, both ‘whinny’ AND ‘nicker’?