HOLIDAY RECIPE
Antelope Nares in Tomato Aspic
For this recipe you will need:
one medium herd of antelope
One phalanx of flesh-eating camels
one dried tomato
aspic
Slay one medium herd of antelope. Using a razor-sharp melonballer, slice nares from carcasses and set aside in hamper. Release phalanx of flesh-eating camels to dispose of antelope leftovers. Return to fort, dragging hamper. Beat dried tomato with a bludgeon. Prepare aspic in the usual Tibetan manner, mixing in bludgeoned tomato and unrinsed nares. Chill overnight while the aspic cools in the fridge. Slide unmolded aspic onto platter and garnish with the beak of a macaw. Serves six people or one grizzly bear. (Trust me on this. I learned the hard way.)