December 14, 2010

Antelope Nares in Tomato Aspic

For this recipe you will need:

one medium herd of antelope

One phalanx of flesh-eating camels

one dried tomato


Slay one medium herd of antelope. Using a razor-sharp melonballer, slice nares from carcasses and set aside in hamper. Release phalanx of flesh-eating camels to dispose of antelope leftovers. Return to fort, dragging hamper. Beat dried tomato with a bludgeon. Prepare aspic in the usual Tibetan manner, mixing in bludgeoned tomato and unrinsed nares. Chill overnight while the aspic cools in the fridge. Slide unmolded aspic onto platter and garnish with the beak of a macaw. Serves six people or one grizzly bear. (Trust me on this. I learned the hard way.)

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