THE LOON’S RESOLUTIONS FOR 2011
December 30, 2010
The loon resolves to:
1. spend a few days of each month tied to a chimney.
2. bake and consume in one sitting a porpoise.
3. host an event having something to do with otters.
4. fill a bucket with spit.
5. hallucinate only on weekends.
6. deposit all of his money in a snow bank.
7. devote a few seconds to remembering the year 1832.
8. dance across the moat while wrapped in a blanket made of orange peels garnished with cloves.
9. solve the plankton problem.
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