THE LOON’S RESOLUTIONS FOR 2011

December 30, 2010

The loon resolves to:

1. spend a few days of each month tied to a chimney.

2. bake and consume in one sitting a porpoise.

3. host an event having something to do with otters.

4. fill a bucket with spit.

5. hallucinate only on weekends.

6. deposit all of his money in a snow bank.

7. devote a few seconds to remembering the year 1832.

8. dance across the moat while wrapped in a blanket made of orange peels garnished with cloves.

9. solve the plankton problem.

Leave a Reply