ANDERSEN/DICKENS FIGHT REPLAY

May 2, 2011

At the bell, the lanky Dane with the huge head, hands and feet burst into tears. Dickens advanced with a left jab, commenting, “Hans, old boy, I thoroughly enjoyed ‘The Little Mermaid’.” Bursting into renewed tears, this time tears of gratification, Andersen covered up, sobbing on the ropes. Dickens became so verbose that he failed to deliver a single blow, and the round ended with Andersen retreating to his corner weeping.

The crowd booed the lack of action, causing Andersen to burst into tears.

Rounds 2 through 8 were much the same, what with the Dane weeping and the Englishman chatting. However, in the midst of Round 9, in response to overhearing a cutting remark from the crowd about his knobby knees, Andersen fell forward weeping in grief, and his giant head clipped Dickens on the jaw. Both writers sprawled on the canvas, and the contest was declared a draw.

The two of them were seen later that night in a pub, sobbing and singing.

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