October 18, 2011

Dracula N. Peabody, Physician at Law, rummaged through a heap of trash searching for the Golden Ring of the Charming Dragon, an item lost by his client, E. Frame Zim Ballast, crusher of violins. If successful in his search, Peabody would be able to pay the ransom for the Stag Hound Princess sheet music. Gaining the sheet music and playing it on special pan pipes would secure for Peabody a never ending contentment not unlike rowing across a lake in a grinning stupor instead of a boat. Such a contentment would reside forever in his heart and bile ducts and another organ of his choice as long as he kept himself dusted daily with cinnamon powder. Contemplating all of this while beads of sweat dripped from his nose and garbage slime slithered up to his elbows and knees, D. N. Peabody, Physician at Law, decided contentment was overrated, and therefore, he abandoned the search. He later ran for Congress and lost to a chipmunk.

Moral: Don’t chew off more than you can bite.

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