So it came to pass that the reddest of the leaves fell from the tree and vowed then and there to travel beyond the veil of time. And lo, it faded to ghostly white before mine eyes and vanished, leaving behind a single inch of stem for me to carry near my heart. Alack only. […]
1. If I can’t find somebody better by Wednesday, Thursday at the latest, I’ll marry you Friday. 2. I’m so depressed. We might as well get married. 3. Let’s legalize this puppy.
I did not chide her or deride her when she tore my face asunder. I did not blame her or defame her. In retrospect, I made a blunder.
All children, except one, grow up. Well, yes. There you go. A pretty dang strong first sentence.
“Boy, I bet nobody shows up today, not even ‘Perfect Attendance’ Jones.”
‘a’ and ‘b’ are both correct. Laird was the one who sat on her while they waited for the men in white coats to come and cart her off. Her cries of “I’m sane, I tell you. Sane!” made no impression at all on the gathering. In fact, they resumed dining. Owing to his awkward […]
Laird offered the reaction above when asked by his hostess at a Thanksgiving dinner in 1942 to carve: a. his initials into her forehead. b. his initials into her nephew’s gullet. c. his way through a barrier of ham to get to his dessert. d. the “turkey”. e. for her a wooden spaceship so that […]
The loon hacked his way through the thick wall of entangled greenery and found Camelot abandoned, left to the tender mercies of the mole, the worm and the rusty broken stapler.
1. Instead of red herrings, blue dolphins. 2. Instead of assembling suspects in the drawing room for summation and accusation, have detective make speech standing alone in a rowboat while addressing an audience of imaginary penguins. 3. Instead of outwitting bumbling police inspector, be confronted and, yea verily, outwitted by a simpering dandy. 4. Instead […]