November 9, 2011

Today’s fall leavular post is brought to you by carbonated beverages positively loaded with every kind of sugar you can think of and a few you never even knew existed. Sore teeth? Swill our product around in your mouth for 60 seconds and, voila, no more pesky teeth. Also good for melting furniture and small annoying pets. Make lawn care a breeze. Drink one bottle and you won’t care about your lawn. You won’t care about anything. Though you will have lost quite a lot of brain function, you will experience a short-lived burst of energy. So there’s that.

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