February 29, 2012
Leap Day was founded by: a. Geraldine Leap, an insufferable egotist and drapery consultant. b. Count Fortunato Beetle, 18th century simp. c. Klatu, the alien overlord, Barada of Nikto. d. looking under some rocks. e. an anonymous gunnery sergeant in the Royal Navy serving under and sometimes beside Horatio Nelson when acting as second arm. [...]
February 28, 2012
Come to the BABE RUTH ROMAN HOLIDAY ON ICE STATION ZEBRA featuring BASEBALL ON A RAFT WITH AN ARMY OF ENRAGED PENGUINS ALL THE KRILL YOU CAN EAT AN OCEAN OF TUNES WITH RICHARD MOBY AND HIS ORCA STRAW ICE COMPLIMENTARY EINSTEIN WIGS and much much more, for instance FREE PENS in which to confine [...]
February 26, 2012
The chamber wolf left the chamber, loped across the meadow, caught the bus, got off on the corner of Filth and Regurgitate, went into the bar and downed a schooner of near beer, exited through the back entrance into the alley, lolluped up the fire escape, squeezed through the window into his office, sat behind [...]
February 25, 2012
If you ever managed to make me cry, my tears would sear your face. This from the impassively harrowing 975 page fictional WWII memoir of an SS officer.
February 24, 2012
James Edward Tillinghast spent three years before the mast. And when said years had wandered by he spent three years consuming pie. And when his girth was more than ample he said, “Let this be an example.” What he meant, no one knows, for all ignored him, and stole his clothes.
February 23, 2012
This lovely camellia, coughing softly, told the loon she dreamed of being cured at the sanatorium on Magic Mountain. The loon, believing himself to be a time traveler and an intimate friend of Hans Castorp, promised to do all in his power to get her there.
February 22, 2012
THE QUAFFING OF MILTON AND ANN THE HEART USURPING STORY OF THREE MEN, ONE WOMAN, AN INTELLIGENT COW, AND A REFRESHING BEVERAGE told on a tramp steamer by a mysterious stranger wearing lead shoes and sporting a serious overbite to a sympathetic turnkey from sunny Spain
February 21, 2012
kenneth oh kenneth please come to the barn i forgive you for breaking my car kenneth oh kenneth stop carding that yarn and help me revive stanley marr kenneth oh kenneth i don’t give a darn if your head is stuck in a jar kenneth oh kenneth … too late never mind
February 20, 2012
Little brother basks in his big sister’s easy embrace.