BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – RICHARD BURTON
Loon: I danced a jig of joy when they told me today’s celebrity ghost answering 3 questions would be Richard Burton. I mean, Elizabeth Taylor, right? I must say it’s a bit tough recognizing the wispy flutter in front of me as Richard Burton, but you are Richard Burton’s ghost, aren’t you?
Richard Burton’s ghost: I am.
Loon: You don’t sound much like yourself, either. But never mind, let’s get down to the good stuff. When did you first meet Elizabeth Taylor in person?
Richard Burton’s ghost: Elizabeth who?
Loon: Elizabeth Taylor. You married her like a gazillion times.
Richard Burton’s ghost: I did nothing of the sort.
Loon: Come on. Don’t tell me they wiped out your memory when you croaked. Was Elizabeth Taylor a good cook?
Richard Burton’s ghost: I remember every detail of my life; my search for the source of the Nile, my numerous treatises on the customs of native populations, my lifelong study of humanity and philosophy, my abhorrence of Speke. My curiosity was unslakable. Whether this Elizabeth Taylor person was a good cook is one item of knowledge I feel no burning desire to discover.
Loon: So, okay. Chill. Geez, and thanks for the visit, supposedly Richard Burton’s ghost.
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