March 27, 2013
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Once upon a time a lackadaisical car dealership owner’s daughter traipsed into the woods hauling her wagon loaded with four 2 gallon jugs of brandy. First she met a wolf who threatened to read tax instructions at her. He was soon placated when the girl shared with him one jug of brandy. Continuing on her way none too steadily, the maiden met a noted crone, a witch to be concise. While pondering a proper curse to cast upon the brat, the brat in question lifted another jug of brandy from the wagon and indicated with a waggling of eyebrows its contents. Taken aback, the witch drank fully from the jug and settled down to nap. The dealership owner’s daughter shrugged and emptied the rest of the jug’s contents down her own throat. Weaving dangerously now, the girl almost staggered into the river, but was saved by a passing dentist with whom she subsequently shared the 3rd jug. Leaving the dentist comatose, she crawled along dragging her wagon with her foot until she met a horrible dragon with the worst breath imaginable, worse even than hyena breath. The last jug was emptied, dousing the dragon’s fire and knocking it into oblivion. The maid dragged the sweetest smelling blossoms she could find to cover the great scaly body. When finished with her task, she wept, laughed, wept, laughed, and so forth for a long time until she keeled over and would have had quite a tale to tell her grandchildren if she could have remembered any of it.

Moral: When you’ve got enough brandy, you’ve got all you need.

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