March 31, 2013

Loon: I’d like to welcome today’s ghost to the 3 question interview. Welcome, ghost. First question – When you ran for president against FDR, what was your favorite meal?

Wilkie Collins’ ghost: I never had the honor to run for the office of president of your nation. By no calculation whatsoever was I deemed an American citizen.

Loon: Now that I hear your accent, I get the picture. It was your name, Collins, that got me mixed up. Another question, then. If you never ran for president, did you ever run to catch a train?

Wilkie Collins’ ghost: Twice.

Loon: Good. Now we’re getting somewhere. Finally, canary or parakeet?

Wilkie Collins’ ghost: By all means, parakeet.

Loon: Join me next week when I confront another ghost with the 3 question interview.

(Wilkie Collins’ ghost retreats, a white wraith, into the fog.)

Leave a Reply