REJECTED MYSTERY TITLES

April 17, 2013
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1. The Chamberpot Affair 2. The Case of the Laughing Snail 3. Death Wore Slippers

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DEAR UGLY

April 16, 2013

Dear ugly, We defy you. Signed, Back Lit Fig Leaves

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THE TRIAL BALLOON

April 15, 2013
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The trial balloon floated over the rooftops of London. The judge asked the jury if they had reached a verdict. The jury foreman replied, ‘Yes, Your Honor, we find the defendant guilty.’ ‘Right,’ said the judge. ‘Bailiff, do your duty.’ The bailiff grabbed the defendant by scruff of neck and seat of pants and flung […]

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BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – SALVADOR DALI

April 14, 2013

Loon: For today’s 3 question interview I’m told we are honored to have a very famous painter here, Solomon Dolly. Question 1: Mr. Dolly, when painting a room, is it best to do the trim first, then the walls, or the reverse of whatever I just said? Salvador Dali’s ghost: Fish. Loon: Fish? Salvador Dali’s […]

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A SENTENCE BY ALLAN GURGANIS

April 13, 2013

To sit here, my engagement ring lighting up one streetlamp at a time – dying between – to feel that Falls won’t that great, it made my own body feel less healthy. Powerful good image you got going there, Oldest Living Confederate Widow. Please tell all.

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THE FRANCIS X BUSHMAN KWIZ ANSWER

April 12, 2013

All answers save ‘c’ are correct. He did meet one lion once that he didn’t like.

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THE FRANCIS X BUSHMAN KWIZ

April 11, 2013

Silent movie star Francis X Bushman: a. was a lion tamer before he broke into pictures. b. lived outdoors with a free ranging pride of lions in the San Fernando Valley. c. never met a lion he didn’t like. d. once led several lions in an assault on Pismo Beach. e. got the Ben Hur […]

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THE BRIDE WHO WAS ONCE A TURTLE

April 10, 2013
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The bride who was once a turtle moved slowly down the hall and into the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator door, she paused and thought, blinking her eyes twice during the three minutes of subsequent silence. She sighed and reached for a lettuce leaf. She brought it to her mouth and consumed it, moving her jaw […]

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ANOTHER LESSON IN NAMING ART, dada STYLE

April 9, 2013
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EAT YOUR HEART OUT, CLAUDE MONET or I’M THINKING ABOUT YOU, TEDDY ROOSEVELT or THE CHARGE OF THE LIGHT BRIGADE, A REMNANT or THE DOWAGER WITCH’S FAVORITE POND

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POWER OUTAGE CULPRIT

April 8, 2013

The power was out around here for 12 hours earlier today. I’m sure this evil scrawny witch triffid had a lot to do with it.

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