GNU EAR POEM

December 31, 2013

On New Year’s Eve Harrison Grieve always dines on oats. ‘I do so because,’ he told his cuz, ‘it keeps away the goats.’ ‘How does that work?’ asked his cousin, James Burke, a skeptic from the west. Harry replied, I keep closed one eye and dab mustard all over my vest.’ Not being a dunce, […]

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TO BUILD A HOUSE

December 30, 2013

To begin, fell several trees and bustle about turning them into logs. Build a wagon, load it with the logs, and haul them to the beach. Next, get yourself some rope, a whole lot of rope. Bind your logs together into an attractive patterned house frame. Following this activity, set yourself aside and partake of […]

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BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – WILLIAM HOWARD TAFT

December 29, 2013

Loon: Today as the old year totters to its conclusion, the 3 question interview welcomes the ghost of yet another former President of the United States, William McKinley Taft. Mr. President, how many pairs of shoes did you own? Taft’s ghost: Are you going to eat that cruller? Loon: No, I’m done. Take it, by […]

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A SENTENCE BY MICHAEL PALIN

December 28, 2013

I write this by the light of the Lumogaz lamp on the round wooden table in the barn at Roques. No, not the first sentence of a ripping yarn. Yes, from Michael’s most entertaining Diaries 1969-1979, The Python Years.

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THE MINNIE MOUSE KWIZ ANSWER

December 27, 2013

She never should have given Goofy that first fateful tic tac.

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THE MINNIE MOUSE KWIZ

December 26, 2013

Minnie was: a. incredibly tiny. b. laundress at a dude ranch near Solvang for one memorable summer. c. unfailingly polite and generous to her staff of servants. d. in and out of prison in her later years. e. largely to blame for Goofy’s addiction to tic tacs.

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RED

December 25, 2013
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HAPPY NIGHT BEFORE THE DAY OF

December 24, 2013
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THE HORRIBLE MONSTER KWIZ ANSWER

December 20, 2013

Despite its rotten horribleness, the monster was a brilliant chef and always prepared unforgettable lunches for his minions.

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THE HORRIBLE MONSTER KWIZ

December 19, 2013

Silent film actress Dorothy Bernard in her role as monster’s minion is reacting to the monster: a. galloping around the doom pit chasing a succulent maiden while roaring rage from its many beaks. b. opening her gift, which she knows to be an exploding monkey. c. revealing the treasure. d. setting before her a really […]

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