BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – WILLIAM HOWARD TAFT
Loon: Today as the old year totters to its conclusion, the 3 question interview welcomes the ghost of yet another former President of the United States, William McKinley Taft. Mr. President, how many pairs of shoes did you own?
Taft’s ghost: Are you going to eat that cruller?
Loon: No, I’m done. Take it, by all means. Tasty, isn’t it?
Taft’s ghost: What about that stuff behind you?
Loon (holds up bunch of celery): This?
Taft’s ghost: No. That. (points to pie cooling on window sill)
Loon: Have at it, Mr. President. Looks like I ran out of questions by accident, didn’t I? Oh, well. Same time next week. Don’t miss it. (leaves)
(Taft’s ghost consumes pie, plate it was resting on, window sill, 2 portraits hanging on the wall, and a tin of sardines before disembodying.)