10 BOOKS I’VE READ AT LEAST 3 TIMES

December 18, 2013

Ulysses (quite a lot about the city of Dublin on June 16, 1904) David Copperfield (I’m willin’, like Barkis, in short, to read this again and again and again.) Lorna Doone (I like me a 6’7″ 280 pound humble yeoman farmer.) Cold Comfort Farm (I have it from a reliable source that there be no […]

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STANLEY SAYS

December 17, 2013

He who filters your good name steals trash. – Stan Laurel

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BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – BABE HARDY

December 15, 2013
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Loon: Today’s guest for the 3 question interview is none other than the ghost of Oliver Hardy, one half of the famous team of Hardy and Laurel. Mr. Hardy, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, could you tell us what it was like to work with Mr. Laurel? Ollie’s ghost: Certainly. (uncomfortable pause) Loon: […]

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A SENTENCE BY OSCAR WILDE

December 14, 2013
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Arguments are extremely vulgar, for everybody in good society holds exactly the same opinions. This is from The Remarkable Rocket. Even in his fairy tales, Oscar will be Oscar.

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THE BLUE MEANIE KWIZ ANSWER

December 13, 2013

He never got over being stripped of that Miss Congeniality title.

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THE BLUE MEANIE KWIZ

December 12, 2013
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The Blue Meanie Leader was mean because: a. his boots were too tight. b. his Miss Congeniality sash was torn from his gown when it was discovered that he was Mr. Congeniality. c. he thought his song ‘I Want To Hold Your Gland’ was way better than the Beatles’ ‘I Want To Hold Your Hand’. […]

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THE TREMBLER

December 11, 2013
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The Trembler despaired. Shivering in its rags, it peered over the sill to the rubble filled street far below. It heaved a shuddering sigh and retreated to the broken table in the otherwise empty foul stained room. The ceiling stain resembled a torn apart rat. A wobbling claw the Trembler stretched forth in an attempt […]

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HALF WAY THERE

December 10, 2013
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Now that we’ve crossed the river, we’ll go through here and soon be at grandmother’s house. Don’t worry. The steed is familiar with the route.

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YE OLD ANCESTRAL DIGS

December 9, 2013
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BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – HATFIELDS AND McCOYS

December 8, 2013
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Loon: Today for the 3 question interview, I… (Ghosts of Hatfields and McCoys crash through ceiling, punching, biting, kicking.) Loon (shouting): Wait a min… (Loon goes down after taking a left to the jaw from a particularly burly Hatfield maiden.) Loon (raises head, groggy): What’s the big idea? This is no… (Loon jackknifes in agony […]

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