THE MIDNIGHT KNIVES

February 17, 2014
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Be on guard. The Midnight Knives are afoot. They scritch, clanking along the cobbles in line, ever on the lookout for their next victim. What lo! Is this an unwary baker heading to task at a pre-dawn oven? The Midnight Knives arrange themselves in presentation mode and unfurl their banner. They sing: Good morning to […]

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HYPE

February 16, 2014

TENDER VOLES THE GREATEST NOVEL EVER WRITTEN DISPLAYS RANCID ENTITLEMENT DARKLY WRY BOLDLY SKIPS WHERE OTHERS DARE NOT SLITHER A STUNNING COUNTERPOINT TO ANYTHING ETHICAL IN ITS CHEAP CONSTRUCT

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A SENTENCE BY AGATHA CHRISTIE

February 15, 2014

Thinking over what gave me most pleasure in my childhood I should be inclined to place first and foremost, my hoop. From Agatha’s incredibly delightful autobiography.

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THE VILMA BANKY KWIZ ANSWER

February 14, 2014

Vilma played the kazoo better than anyone else in L.A. In fact, she taught kazoo. Marion Davies and Charlie Chaplin were two of her pupils.

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THE VILMA BANKY KWIZ

February 13, 2014
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Silent movie star Vilma Banky, pictured here at a Pasadena garden party with Valentino lookalike Herb Flantz, was: a. linked romantically to Roman Link, a screenwriter for Warner Brothers. b. Miss Bronx Apple Cider in 1919. c. able to stand on tiptoe for hours,and often did. d. the unseen hand behind quite a few leveraged […]

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THE HUNGER GAMES

February 12, 2014

The Saga of Katniss Everdeen, Conflicted Killing Machine

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SONG LYRIC

February 11, 2014

There is a steamboat in my head, If you remove it, I’ll be dead, So you had best just let it be, While I dance with my manatee.

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THE CRAFTY ICHTHYOSAUR

February 10, 2014

Long considered extinct by her former business associates, the crafty ichthyosaur bided her time well north of Greenland in an ice cave of her own clever design. One day she would emerge, declare her claim to be sole owner of the portfolio, and assume all rights and honors theretofore to be spoken of or entered […]

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IN THE NEWS

February 9, 2014

Crime fighting diplomats from Argentina stormed the barricades at a downtown construction site earlier today and ate lunch on a stack of girders. Pork inspectors passing by were unharmed. Film at 11.

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THE RECUMBENT POETS SOCIETY

February 8, 2014
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Event coordinator Alice Blant paces the length of the vast hangar making one final inspection of the 1000 hammocks. Alignment and spacing? Check. Cords properly tense? Check. Pillows plumped and placed perfectly? Check. Fringe on each hammock hanging with nary a tangle? Check. “All right, Blandings. Open the door!” shouts Alice Blant. Blandings manipulates the […]

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