ON GOVERNMENT REPRESENTATIVES

June 20, 2017

They are all liars, you can’t believe anything they say. – Sitting Bull

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X MARKS THE SPOT

June 19, 2017
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BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – GENTLEMAN JIM CORBETT

June 18, 2017

Loon: Today’s celebrity ghost supplied to us for the 3 Question Interview, one Gentleman Jim Corbett, looks like a boxer. Were you a boxer, Gentleman? Corbett’s ghost: I was a pugilist of some note. Loon: Well, I’m sure pugiling was important, too. Did you ever meet the Queen of England, or better yet, dance with […]

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STUDS TERKEL ANGELA MERKEL

June 17, 2017

studs terkel angela merkel the farmer in the dell whenever i’m beside myself i ring this little bell sojourner truth john wilkes booth from the mighty whale a tooth whenever i’m behind myself i’m always in duluth

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THE HOLMES/WATSON KWIZ ANSWER

June 16, 2017

Holmes had a devil of a time wresting that tape measure from the hedgehog.

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THE HOLMES/WATSON KWIZ

June 15, 2017

Holmes is: a. pointing at a small pile of unseemly litter. b. trying to wrest his tape measure from the grasp of an irritated hedgehog. c. uneasy at the proximity of Watson’s head to his own. d. lost in dreams of yesteryear.

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THE SAUCER IS DESCENDING

June 14, 2017
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CABINET MEETING

June 13, 2017

(God and a coterie of subservient sycophants are seated around a table.) God: I think each one of you should praise me in turn. Start. Sycophant 1: You’re the best. You’re so great. I mean, my God! I’m humbled and grateful to be near you. Sycophant 2: I’m going to bronze the clothes I’m wearing […]

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HORRORSCOPE FOR JUNE 12

June 12, 2017

Living flesh should be avoided today. Sharpening your devices while hiding in the garage would be a suitable pastime. If you must go out tonight, carry an ox femur and wave it about from time to time in tandem with your best shriek.

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THE LAUREN BACALL POEM

June 11, 2017

lauren bacall, lauren bacall whereforth, whyforth seemst thou so tall your spidery fingers, your sultry glance enrapture all nations, especially france

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