REWARD

February 9, 2016

Pull back, push down, you row. Glints spatter in the moonlight as the blades of your oars attack the water. The abandoned pier, a black finger, recedes in the distance. You turn your head. The island waits. Sweat drips from the end of your nose. Sweat runs a trickle down your spine. Pull, pull, you […]

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TRIFECTA OF WOE

February 8, 2016

1. after alarm fails to go off, sleep well beyond time you are due at important appointment. 2. fall on exiting bed. 3. drop keys down trash chute.

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‘SECONDS BEFORE’ SENTENCES

February 7, 2016

That went well, thought Dax Fermidian seconds before the heat wave melted his boots. The blonde pyromaniac searched for her car keys, forgetting that seconds before they had been melted in the blast furnace. Fuzzy, the hopeful rabbit, hopped from her burrow seconds before the hawk struck.  

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SCIFI

February 3, 2016

A malfunction in his sensory output pod nullified his ability to shriek, thereby causing him to meet his termination in silence.

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GREEN SUBDUED, GREY TRIUMPHANT

February 1, 2016
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FANWORTH’S DREAM

January 31, 2016

Fanworth’s dream was to be delicately placed in a mental institution and there to be tended by a modest number of dead-eyed strangers. To this end, wearing fiercely orange tights, he drenched himself head to toe in butter fat and sang nonsense in falsetto outside City Hall. Sure enough, he was removed from the scene […]

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THE SECRET OF MARVIN HAY

January 30, 2016

the secret of marvin hay will be revealed on the 3rd of may from asking me questions refrain i don’t want to miss my train i’ll leave you with one final thought what goes up must come down maybe not

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THE EDNA MAE OLIVER KWIZ ANSWER

January 29, 2016

Each option offered is true.

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THE EDNA MAE OLIVER KWIZ

January 28, 2016

Edna Mae had: a. a statue of Charles Dickens in her garden, at which she tossed hoops. b. a cravat formerly belonging to Charles Dickens, which she used as a bookmark. c. an autographed portrait of Charles Dickens perched above the samovar on her dining room table. d. a stamp collection envied most particularly by […]

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BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – CHARLES DICKENS

January 24, 2016

Loon: I have the honor, privilege, and golden opportunity today to conduct the 3 question interview with the ghost of Mr. Charles Dickens, who famously wrote many famous books, so I am told. Welcome, sir, and may I begin by asking a question about your childhood? Dickens’ ghost: You may. Loon: I know I should […]

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