HE FELT LIKE

July 27, 2015

He felt like a career mediocrity having a mildly productive week. He felt like he’d been skating on thin ice carrying an anvil. He felt like the world ignored him because it owed him four dollars. He felt like doom would be an improvement.

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RANDOM DIALOG

July 26, 2015

Superhero: We’ll take the flying buzz car. Stranger Being Rescued: What’s a flying buzz car? Superhero: A car that flies and buzzes. Stranger Being Rescued: Oh.

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ELEGANCE IGNORING A GROUP OF HER TINY ADORING CRIMSON FANS

July 23, 2015
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MAGIC POTION RECIPE

July 22, 2015
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To make this versatile potion, good for invisibility or flight, you will need the following: 1 clarinet 1 steel flagon 3 seeds of any kind (doubt works well) a blue bowl filled half with water from a roaring cataract and half with empty 2 pinches and 1 poke of dirt Start by placing the clarinet […]

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NOT OVERLY POMPOUS

July 21, 2015

It your neighbor is pompous, but not overly pompous, refer to him as falutin instead of highfalutin.

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BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – AL JOLSON

July 19, 2015

Loon: This morning the lords of the 4th dimension have invited for the 3 question interview an entertainer of some note, I am told, from the vaudeville days in the early 20th century. His name is Al Jolson. Mr. Jolson, why were you famous? Jolson’s ghost: You ain’t heard nothin’ yet. Loon: I know. So […]

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DIAMOND JIM LEDBETTER

July 18, 2015

Diamond Jim Ledbetter spread the pat of butter carefully on the piece of marble rye toast. He then cut the toast in half neatly on the diagonal and arranged the newly created pair of triangular foodstuffs on the blue platter next to the perfect omelet. Whisking away a few stray crumbs with his serviette, he […]

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UNUSUAL WARNINGS

July 16, 2015

‘Close the barn door, Maddie, they’re comin’ for the stump.’ (genre? amputee western) ‘Step aside if you don’t want to be clobbered by flying elephants.’ (genre? science fantasy) ‘I wouldn’t do that, pal, if you plan on auditing more tax evasion classes any time soon.’ (genre? wall street noir) ‘Be careful, Lance. The castle isn’t […]

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A TRIFFID ALL GUSSIED UP

July 15, 2015

All gussied up with dangling accoutrements, here is a triffid on its way to attend the birthday celebration  honoring the triffid queen.

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RED VELVET ROSE

July 14, 2015
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