A POEM

May 23, 2016

this is a poem not about owls it’s also not about goats it’s mostly about the way cheese is made with a small offhand mention of boats oh milk oh rennin (boat)

0

BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – HUGH GLASS

May 22, 2016

Loon: For today’s 3 Question Interview, the Lords of the 4th Dimension have brought a mountain man named Hugh Glass who crawled a long way after fighting a bear. Mr. Glass, was the stench of the bear’s breath almost unbearable? Ghost of Hugh Glass: There might be some truth in that, though I weren’t busy […]

0

THE FIELDS/BARRYMORE KWIZ ANSWER

May 20, 2016

John magnanimously shared his weight in tequila with his pal, Bill Fields.

0

THE FIELDS/BARRYMORE KWIZ

May 19, 2016

This duel of stares is engaged in by this duo of stars because: a. both of them claimed ownership of the last barrel of whiskey. b. a simple tiff over bar stools escalated. c. the winner of the stare down was to receive his weight in tequila. d. by this point in the evening neither […]

0

MYSTERY TITLES

May 17, 2016

The Lampshade Murders The Case of the Missing Elk The Sign of Four Minus Three The Handyman, Fiend of Sacramento

0

THE TRAIN

May 16, 2016

The train rushes along the track, puh tick puh tack puh tick puh tack. You, tranquil, serene, almost mesmerized, gaze at the scrubby sage brush flashing by outside. A discreet rap on the door of your compartment interrupts your train of thoughtless train thoughts. ‘Yes,’ you say. The door opens. The conductor, hat in hands, […]

0

THE DOLLY SISTERS KWIZ ANSWER

May 13, 2016

There were a couple of weeks there when they wore their ant headpieces to every party they attended.

0

THE DOLLY SISTERS KWIZ

May 12, 2016

When agreeing to appear in the Ziegfeld Follies, the Dolly Sisters insisted that the contract include: a. a dressing up as ants clause. b. a clause allowing the Dolly Sisters to have hovering dressing rooms. c. a bear clause. d. a sanity clause. e. one page exclusively devoted to hundreds of dollar signs.

0

ADEQUATE COMPANION

May 9, 2016

During his lifelong search for an adequate companion, Jasper Tubbs once mistakenly thought he had succeeded. On a page with two columns, one headed ‘positives’ and one headed ‘negatives’, he had ticked off 8 items on the ‘positives’ side and 1 on the ‘negatives’. On the ‘positives’ side: elbows rounded in a pleasing manner, neck […]

0

BLURBS FOR A NOVEL UNWRITTEN

May 8, 2016

When a jewel is found stabbed into the throat of a famous architect, a city mourns. When lamplighter Doris Churn wanders unescorted into into a den of thieves and architects, a city mourns. A city mourns when noted architect Bliss Chatterton goes missing after last being seen leaping from the prow of a gigantic wrestler. […]

0