SOLSTICE TREK

December 18, 2014
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The Kudu Woman has chosen me to make the Solstice Trek to meet with the Wizard of Gauze. Therefore, bearing the ritual offering of oats in a small hamper, I am heading into the wilderness. Be back Monday.

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GIFT

December 17, 2014
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What horrors did good old Dave Heffelfinger have to endure to procure for his beloved granddaughter her dream gift of a pony? Don’t ask.

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WRITING ASSIGNMENT #3482

December 16, 2014

Include the following words and phrases in a story about former First Lady Bess Truman: knitting needles wampum elf on a shelf it ain’t a fit night out for man or beast celery trapezoid laughing hyena warthogs

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THE CHRISTMAS MOAN

December 15, 2014

No, wait, it’s more of a sigh. A sigh? Si. Stop with the Jack Benny/Mel Blanc. You were telling me about a Christmas moan. Well, to be truthful, it isn’t really a moan or a sigh. What is it then? It’s the noise you make when you open a present and hate it beyond endurance. […]

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THE DARK STILETTO

December 13, 2014

You peg the guy for a creep right off, but when he tosses 500 green on the table, you figure he’s not so bad after all. ‘It’s my wife Brigitte, Mr. Barlow. I want her followed. I got to know where she goes,’ says the not so bad creep. ‘She’s going to be at this […]

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THE RICHARD/ELSA KWIZ ANSWER

December 12, 2014

Elsa hated the lunches Charles made. Richard loved them and was always willing to trade.

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THE RICHARD/ELSA KWIZ

December 11, 2014

Richard Pratt, aka Boris Karloff, and Elsa Lanchester, aka Elsa Lanchester, on the set of The Bride of Frankenstein: a. played snooker for cash, often abandoning the game to duel with their cues. b. raced in tiny autos. c. often traded lunches, he giving her his chicken tikka masala, she giving him her banana infused […]

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INSULT

December 7, 2014

You jelly! You tik! You tak! You tok! You elemental cranebunny! You muddy bunfoster! You granulated pepperstaff! You rolling hipcradle! Out! Out, I say!

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MORE NOIR TITLES

December 6, 2014

Bullets For Breakfast Tattered Rage The Cyanide Reaper Blood On The Spats

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THE NIKOLA TESLA KWIZ ANSWER

December 5, 2014

Tesla thought about joining the circus, and, for a few weeks, he practiced juggling knives and hammers. However, he soon lost interest and turned to stamp collecting instead.

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