DRACULA N. PEAPODY, PHYSICIAN AT LAW

October 18, 2011
Tags:

Dracula N. Peabody, Physician at Law, rummaged through a heap of trash searching for the Golden Ring of the Charming Dragon, an item lost by his client, E. Frame Zim Ballast, crusher of violins. If successful in his search, Peabody would be able to pay the ransom for the Stag Hound Princess sheet music. Gaining […]

0

THE SENSIBLE PARSNIP

July 28, 2011

The sensible parsnip brushed her teeth and went to bed. Her roommate, the wild strawberry, went out, got drunk, came home, threw up, and passed out on the kitchen floor. The sensible parsnip awoke the next morning, sliced her roommate onto her cereal, and went to work after sensibly placing in the front window a […]

0

HARRISON’S SERVANT AND THE ROSE

June 19, 2011

Harrison’s servant questioned the rose closely. “Do you swear on your honor as a comely bloom that my master will succeed in winning the hand of the handless maiden?” asked Harrison’s servant. “I swear on my grandmother’s petal pushers,” replied the rose. Satisfied, Harrison’s servant plucked and subsequently presented the rose to his master, who […]

0

THE WASTED WISH

April 17, 2011

Jim Fan Elliott cursed himself for perhaps the millionth time since the day forty years earlier when he had made the mistake of his life. Now on his deathbed in the creaky no good room he rented in an otherwise abandoned slut of a building, he moaned a final time at his folly. On his […]

0

THE LITTLEST GERM, A LOON FABLE

April 11, 2011

The littlest germ moped. “I never get to do anything,” it said. While all of the other germs were out and about causing disease, the littlest germ was not allowed to leave the germ house and was constantly reminded that it was too small to cause any measurable misery. Vowing to itself to prove them […]

0

FROM DOC’S LOON FABLES 24

December 13, 2010

The Goat and the Goatherd The goat flew to the top of the tallest tree and perched there. “Here now, come down this instant! You can’t fly!” shouted the goatherd, flinging his hat to the ground. “I can’t?” said the goat. “Of course not. You have no wings!” screamed the goatherd, dancing about in a […]

0

FROM DOC’S LOON FABLES #23

September 30, 2010

The Fake Cow and the Cobra Being made of synthetic leather, the fake cow found it difficult to demonstrate sincerity. So one day when her friend, the cobra, loomed up from the basket and said, “Are my beady eyes really scary?”, the fake cow knew cobra was merely fishing for a compliment. “Oh, yeah, really […]

0

FROM DOC’S LOON FABLES #22

August 12, 2010

The Pampered Goat The pampered goat dismissed the butler, the footmen, her personal servant, and both parlor maids with a wave of her hoof. The help withdrew, bowing, from the palatial dining room. The pampered goat studied her reflection in the great mirror on the gilded wall, noting with satisfaction the fiery gleam of her […]

0

FROM DOC’S LOON FABLES 21

May 2, 2010

The Lizard of Gauze Once upon a time a cruel carpenter and his savage beast set out to find and subsequently steal the Cube of Flavors from the Tree of Pensive Contemplation, which, according to legendary lore, grew somewhere east of the Great Chambered Mountain of Ken. Unfortunately for the evil pair, they fell into […]

0

FROM DOC’S LOON FABLES 20

April 14, 2010

A Portrait of Rembrandt Rembrandt frisked from room to room, banging his tambourine on the top of his head. He larked, clicking his heels. He boomed a bawdy ballad and roared with laughter. He ran outside giggling and destroyed his neighbor’s tulips. Energized, the young artist, sucking on a plum, returned to his easel. He […]

0