The Misfit Lovers They considered themselves outcasts, and rightfully so. Leftfully so, too. For you see, he was a loan wolf, scorned by his brethren and sistren. She was a lone shark, shunned by all other elasmobranch fishes. When they met on the sandbar, it was love at first nip. For you see, they fell [...]
The Man Who Glided Home spooned a generous dollop of lemon curd onto his toasted English muffin. He reached for the tumbler of freshly squeezed orange juice and quaffed it. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, rose from his chair, folded the English muffin in half and slid it neatly between [...]
So many times … hopes dashed … curse prolonged. Are you the one, child? I’ve heard you conspire with the boy every day. Oh, yes, little one, my eyesight is weak, but my earhear is most uncommon keen. Can such a tiny petal of life perform my dream of a miracle? Well, there’s no reward [...]
Unable to fly after an all night binge featuring too many shots of rye and not enough parakeets, Zorro the Duck staggered through Golden Gate Park with a head full of hammers that wouldn’t quit playing at blacksmiths. He hoped to make it to his office in one piece and fall onto his couch for [...]
In a kingdom as peaceful as can be expected there resided a pair of rude princesses. Their similarities were so striking that there was only one way to tell them apart. Both were rude and nasty. However, Bess was rude, nasty and unkempt. Tess was rude, nasty and kempt. Their shared rudeness and nastiness was [...]
Once upon a time, and a very fine time it was, there lived at the edge of a forest in a faraway land a wealthy woodcutter and his two daughters. The sisters were twins, one comely, the other goly. They ran a boutique doublet shoppe next to the sawmill and were quite content. The comely [...]
Acting on directions supplied by the loon’s own triffid, the loon visited and chatted with this loner incognito triffid a few weeks ago. It was staked out as this comely rose in front of a house likely to attract a wealth of succulent trick-or-treaters. The loon scanned the papers for the next few days and [...]
Remember in ‘The Birds’ when the crows begin to settle on the jungle gym next to the school house a few at a time and then the camera follows a single crow flying in and landing on the now teeming with crows structure? The loon recently witnessed something similar, but with leaves instead of crows, [...]
While strolling through the park one day, and not in the merry month of May, the loon fell into conversation with this wandering triffid. On discovering that they shared many mutual interests, the loon invited the triffid to live permanently in the loon’s front yard in exchange for all the venison the triffid could capture [...]
The last scoundrel finished with a time of precisely one hour, a full fifteen minutes after the first scoundrel had breasted the tape. At the scoundrel after party, the last scoundrel was thoroughly mocked and forced to wear the vestments of an apprentice beekeeper. So chagrined was he that he lashed out in fury at [...]
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