going up hill is grand

with an extra lung at hand

if you must do with a paltry two

frequent rests are called for, it’s true

crawling on hands and knees

may prevent a cardiac seize

really it might be best

to remain at home and rest

]]> http://dochortonsloondiary.com/2013/05/22/the-hike-of-steepness/feed/ 0 http://dochortonsloondiary.com/2013/05/21/a-tree-accessorizes/ http://dochortonsloondiary.com/2013/05/21/a-tree-accessorizes/#comments Tue, 21 May 2013 14:13:32 +0000 Doc http://dochortonsloondiary.com/?p=4364

Before heading off to work, this tree accessorized rather successfully, I think.

Well, see them boulders scattered about yon. Was a time when the Washoe people come up to summer at the lake and their women folk pounded pine nuts on ‘em. As purty a little stream as you’ll ever see flows down along by that stand o’ trees afore it gives itself up to jine forces with the marsh. Them days is long gone for sure, but by cracky, the redwing blackbirds still flits about shoutin’ their sass, don’t they?

Ghost of Lon Chaney Sr: A wolfman is one of the few creatures I haven’t been, friend. That was my son who played the wolfman. If you want to speak of hunchbacks and phantoms, I’m your man.

Loon: You weren’t the wolfman?

Ghost of Lon Chaney Sr: No, my son Creighton was the wolfman. He was also excellent, might I say definitive, playing the role of Lenny in Of Mice and Men.

Loon: Not the wolfman?

Ghost of Lon Chaney Sr: Sorry, old sport. That’s my Gatsby. Pretty good, eh?

(Loon leaves the room. Ghost of Lon Chaney Sr changes into a thousand faces and explodes.)

I hate it when my sword does that.

Jenny was called The Swedish Nightingale because:

a. she was both Swedish and a nightingale.

b. the only other suggestion was Bingles, the Opera Girl.

c. she once taught a nightingale to speak Swedish.

d. because people kept getting her mixed up with Florence Nightingale, and she grew tired of being asked to look at wounds.

e. hey, why not?

Today is the anniversary of L’s birth. Happy birthday, L. Not a lot of folks nowadays know that your mother-in-law, Matilda Gage, was one of the 3 pillars of the 19th century feminist movement along with Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony. As you probably remember, your wife’s name was Maud. Maud and Matilda, M and M. Is that where you got Auntie Em? I was curious, knowing how you loved wordplay and puns and anagrams and such.

nervous, they wait

poised motionless

hearts thrumming

like windblown caterpillars

riding the dawn

soon

soon

but not yet

Tulips milled about outside the Hall waiting for the doors to open. They had long anticipated attending this particular concert. Featured on the same bill were Cactus Jack Frond, The Roots, and Daffy and the Dills. Scalpers were earning green lettuce leaf over stem. Dealers in illegal pollen had no dearth of clients. In short, the good times were about ready to roll.