August 23, 2015
a work of such powerful density that heaven itself is knocked asunder
words fail to convey the rigid turbulence of the snowbound yearning
hope is dismantled muscularly and reassembled as fine wine and cheese
August 22, 2015
Brenda always felt conspicuous when out in a crowd.
August 21, 2015
Chambermusic Cadwallater hurried into the Hall of Records to have his name changed finally for once and for all at last. No more dillydallying. No more limp excuses. What will the neighbors think? The neighbors can go spin. How will the postal carrier react? Bother the postal carrier! Chambermusic stormed into the proper room and said a little too loudly, ‘I am changing my name.’ The clerk stifled a natural ‘No wonder, bud’ when she examined Cadwallater’s driver’s license. With all sorts of forms filled, filed, folded, and stamped, an exuberant new man later exited the building.
To the guard posted at the door, he nodded a greeting, smiled, and said, ‘Nice day. By the way, my name is Sid Funtimes, and I am glad to meet you.’
August 20, 2015
Oh, sure. Louisa May Alcott and Anna May Wong and Edna May Oliver, but whenever I want to Alcott, Wong, or Oliver, you tell me I have to finish my chores first.
August 19, 2015
It took substantial reordering of my genetic material to understand, but once this hurdle had been vaulted with an adequate amount of success, it was smooth sailing from the kitchen door all the way into the barn.
August 18, 2015
The space goon tripped over some upstart moon and bent the node on his device. Another awkward start to another awkward time frame. He leaped quickly upright, hoping no one had seen his clumsy fall. In the process of leaping upright, he failed to compensate for gravitational quirks, causing his pants to rip. Thoroughly embarrassed, he blushed sparkly crimson and minced edgewise away from the populated center of the nebula, hoping thereby to avoid any close encounters of the worst kind. His hopes were dashed when in his ear rang the mocking cry, ‘Nice trip. See you next fall.’ He whirled around and saw the silly grin on the face of the handsome giant space marmot.
‘Drat,’ said the space goon.
‘Drat indeed,’ said the giant handsome space marmot.
August 16, 2015
Loon: I’m told by the Lords of the 4th dimension that today’s 3 question interview subject, when living, was big in Hollywood. His name is Cecil B DeMille. Mr. DeMille, you seem to be of average size. Were the residents of Hollywood unusually small?
DeMille’s ghost (wearing a carefully planned look of extreme importance on his face): In comparison to me, everyone I ever worked with was smaller than I am in every way possible.
Loon: And just what sort of work did you do?
DeMille’s ghost (wearing a carefully planned and particularly favorite expression of superiority on his face): I was the creator of the greatest motion pictures ever made.
Loon: Oh. Are those funny pants you’re wearing called jodhpurs?
DeMille’s ghost (wearing a carefully planned look of anger on his face): If you’re trying to be funny, you aren’t succeeding. (raises riding crop in a carefully planned threatening manner)
Loon: I wasn’t … That’s all anyway. (leaves room)
(DeMille’s ghost, wearing a carefully planned serious expression on his face, rises through the ceiling.)
August 14, 2015
Winners – Best Furrowed Brows – Father and Son Division
Lon and Creighton (Lon Jr) Chaney