CALLIOPE TINDALE

May 16, 2017

Calliope Tindale sat in the far corner where she had a clear view of the entrance. She trusted nobody and had her reasons.

The waitress approached and said, ‘What’ll it be, luv?’

‘I trust nobody and have my reasons. Is the egg salad guaranteed fresh?’ answered Calliope.

‘Sure it is,’ said the waitress.

‘I don’t trust you. Bring me a glass of water, and keep in sight so I can see you pour it,’ said Calliope.

The waitress, Dot, went through an elaborate performance obtaining the water. She rolled her eyes at Al when he emerged from the kitchen. She indicated with a slight elbow jab Calliope seated in the far corner. She delivered the water to Calliope.

‘Who’s that guy? I don’t trust him,’ said Calliope.

‘It’s Al. He owns the place, ya know, like it says on the sign outside, Al’s,’ said Dot.

Calliope took a small sip of water and grimaced.

‘This is no good. There’s something in it,’ said Calliope, and she sprang to her feet and raced out the door.

‘Takes all kinds,’ commented Al.

Dot agreed with a nod.

Calliope Tindale fled to the nearest alley. She scurried to a trash bin, raised the lid, climbed in, lowered the lid, sank down, hugged herself, lowered her chin.

‘I trust nobody and have my reasons,’ she murmured.

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PLAY DATE

May 15, 2017

The Goodwin twins welcome Hannah Holden to their home for a play date.

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BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – AMELIA EARHART

May 14, 2017

Loon: For this Mother’s Day, what could be more appropriate for the Lords of the 4th Dimension to deliver to us for the 3 Question Interview than Amelia Earhart, the very famous woman. With the headgear and togs you’re wearing, Amelia, may I assume you were some sort of jockey?

Earhart’s ghost: I was not.

Loon: Well, following up, did you like horses?

Earhart’s ghost: Yes.

Loon: Ah, now we’re getting somewhere. Finally, did you ever eat at one of those automat places?

Earhart’s ghost: Sometimes.

Loon: Thank you and good-bye.

(Loon traipses off, wagging his head from side to side. Earhart’s ghost aviates away.)

 

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JERUSALEM AGAIN

May 13, 2017

The tear-streaked tomato of May’s face ripens towards its bursting point.

Alan Moore’s novel is certain to be among the contenders for greatest novel of the 21st century.

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THE BETTE DAIS FASHION KWIZ ANSWER

May 12, 2017

All four answers are correct.

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THE BETTE DAVIS FASHION KWIZ

May 11, 2017

Bette Davis is using her Bette Davis eyes in this photo to:

a. great advantage.

b. to extract and devour the soul of the photographer.

c. to distract attention from the silly hat

d. to distract attention from those shoulder things (alien caterpillars?).

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THE COBRA’S GARDEN

May 10, 2017

the cobra is a mighty bird

it swims beneath the water

its garden blooms on sunny days

when temperatures are hotter

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BATTLE OF BOSWORTH FIELD

May 9, 2017

Richard III and his white rose troops may look formidable, but Henry Tudor’s reds won the day.

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EONIA

May 8, 2017

In the concrete city of Pastel, the pavement sweeper’s daughter, Eonia, was often observed standing on the pebbled slab nearest the small square of dirt and tugging on one of the auburn ringlets hanging below her left ear, a sure sign that she was deep in thought.

‘Eonia! Come mix the brick paste,’ called her mother.

Eonia did not move. Had she heard?

‘Leave her be,’ said Eonia’s father. ‘She’s thinking deep like as she does. She’s inventing a garden in her head, as ever and always like she does, you know.’

Eonia’s mother sighed and said, ‘It’s all well and good to think thoughts, but how is that going to repair the back wall is what I’d like to know.’

‘Orange on the way to scarlet,’ Eonia mumbled. For her, you see, in that moment, the square of dirt before her was the single place existing in the universe. Such was the fierceness of her composed concentration that what happened next was instantly and, I might add, universally accepted with celebratory awe by all in the concrete city of Pastel.

The orange on the way to scarlet flower remained fully in bloom forever there in its square of dirt.

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A SENTENCE BY MARGARET ATWOOD

May 7, 2017

Their clothes looked as if they’d covered themselves in glue, then rolled around in hundred-dollar bills. – a couple with new money described rather well in The Blind Assassin

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