‘SPECIAL’ MEDICINE
THE WITCH’S FINAL THOUGHTS
So many times … hopes dashed … curse prolonged. Are you the one, child? I’ve heard you conspire with the boy every day. Oh, yes, little one, my eyesight is weak, but my earhear is most uncommon keen. Can such a tiny petal of life perform my dream of a miracle? Well, there’s no reward to be found in delay. How many times have I reached this point only to be squashed hopeless by the cowardice of children seeming to be far bolder and sturdier than you, little chit? Mournful waif. Oh, my bones, how they ache. My twisted fingers … agony to move. Go on, keep crying. Ah, you cry on the outside, I on the inside. Such a thin meager hope. So many years. You are the least likely of all who have gone before. Nevertheless, I will spill the words of instruction for the hundredth time … thousandth? ‘__________’ What’s that? Don’t bring my ember to flame, only to douse it. Oh, my soul, I will spill the words for the second time. ‘__________’ Oh, it proceeds, but now, but now … show exasperation. ‘__________’ Lean in. Pluck up the courage, my darling. Do it. Do it. Little angel, please. OH JOY! OH RELEASE!
WHY BASEBALL?
ART FOR ART’S SAKE
PEAR TREE SANS PARTRIDGE
A SENTENCE BY MARGARET ATWOOD
CARTOON FRIDAY 138
MARIA AND LON KWIZ ANSWER
The correct answer is ‘all of the above’. Yes, the diminutive Russian minx was a woman of many talents. In the photo, she is of course instructing Lon Jr in the brow furrow technique he used with so much success throughout his career. On a side note, Maria once accidentally spilled a cup of tea on Chekhov.
THE OUSPENSKAYA CHANEY JR KWIZ
The most valuable lesson Lon Chaney Jr learned from Maria Ouspenskaya was:
a. how to perform the perfect brow furrow.
b. the proper wrist action when casting while fly fishing.
c. how to work the punchline of a dirty joke.
d. when and how to use her sure fire patented wrestling move.
e. how to use the Stanislavski method in cooking salmon.
f. how to take apart and reassemble a locomotive in fifteen minutes.
g. all of the above










