BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – MARIA CALLAS

June 5, 2016

Loon: Today’s guest brought to us by the Lords of the 4th Dimension for the 3 Question Interview was an opera singer of some renown, I am told. Welcome to Maria Callas. Tell me, Ms. Callas, what was Minnie Pearl really like off the stage?

Ghost of Callas (icily): I wouldn’t know.

Loon: I see. You didn’t mingle. Was Chet Atkins as nice a guy as he seemed to be?

Ghost of Callas (icily): I wouldn’t know.

Loon: Ah. Let me try something else. Did anybody ever joke around singing ‘How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?’ to you?

Ghost of Callas fades until almost all of her has disappeared. Her eyes remain. They stare icily at the loon for a frozen moment before they, too, wink out and are gone.

Loon: I’ll take that as a ‘No’. (bows, leaves room)

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STONE WALL AND LAVENDER FROTH

June 4, 2016

2016-06-02 13.54.35

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THE TOOTSIE ROLL POP KWIZ ANSWER

June 3, 2016

Timothy Tootsie also invented steam-powered hedge clippers.

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THE TOOTSIE ROLL POP KWIZ

June 2, 2016

tootsie roll pops

Tootsie Roll Pops were invented by:

a. a secret consortium of renegade dentists.

b. a government funded dental think tank.

c. an anonymous food researcher, believed to be a dentist.

d. Timothy Tootsie.

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THE FANGED WRIGGLER

June 1, 2016

Charles Bentlow slid from concealment behind the rhododendrons, furtively glancing to his left. Had he in addition glanced furtively to his right, fortune might have smiled and guided him to safety in the boathouse. However, his glance to the left lingered a beat too long, thereby solidifying in perpetuity fortune’s frown on Bentlow’s subsequent demise. For silently creeping toward Bentlow from the right, low and against the hedge wall, was The Fanged Wriggle. When it struck, Bentlow had no time to register surprise, fear, dismay, or alarm. He felt nothing when he disappeared in a series of violent jerks down the throat of The Fanged Wriggler. Dear reader, take heed. When emerging from concealment, always glance furtively left AND right.

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MEADOW WALK

May 31, 2016

2016-05-30 11.25.05

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YELLOW IRIS SUBMITS TO AN INTERVIEW

May 30, 2016

2016-05-29 11.44.09

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SALE

May 29, 2016

HURRY!

FINAL FEW DAYS!

OUR 20TH SEMI-ANNUAL

GOING OUT OF BUSINESS SALE!

PRICES SLASHED, NAY, DISEMBOWELED!

not valid where the wild fern grows

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TREMBLING JOE

May 28, 2016

trembling joe was a formidable foe

he wiggled when i wagged

i feinted here

he feinted there

my spirit sadly sagged

in a final thrust i placed my all

he danced aside adroitly

i fell undone

he pulled a gun

and winged me by the oak tree

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THE GLASSES OF SAMUEL BECKETT KWIZ ANSWER

May 27, 2016

His vision was perfect. He didn’t need them, but the fashion statement they made pleased him.

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