GOOD REVIEW

August 23, 2015

BRILLIANT!

SLASHING!

NOBLE!

ELECTRIC!

a work of such powerful density that heaven itself is knocked asunder

words fail to convey the rigid turbulence of the snowbound yearning

hope is dismantled muscularly and reassembled as fine wine and cheese

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CONSPICUOUS

August 22, 2015

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Brenda always felt conspicuous when out in a crowd.

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NAME CHANGE

August 21, 2015

Chambermusic Cadwallater hurried into the Hall of Records to have his name changed finally for once and for all at last. No more dillydallying. No more limp excuses. What will the neighbors think? The neighbors can go spin. How will the postal carrier react? Bother the postal carrier! Chambermusic stormed into the proper room and said a little too loudly, ‘I am changing my name.’ The clerk stifled a natural ‘No wonder, bud’ when she examined Cadwallater’s driver’s license. With all sorts of forms filled, filed, folded, and stamped, an exuberant new man later exited the building.

To the guard posted at the door, he nodded a greeting, smiled, and said, ‘Nice day. By the way, my name is Sid Funtimes, and I am glad to meet you.’

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PRIVILEGE

August 20, 2015

Oh, sure. Louisa May Alcott and Anna May Wong and Edna May Oliver, but whenever I want to Alcott, Wong, or Oliver, you tell me I have to finish my chores first.

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A PILGRIM’S PROGRESS

August 19, 2015

It took substantial reordering of my genetic material to understand, but once this hurdle had been vaulted with an adequate amount of success, it was smooth sailing from the kitchen door all the way into the barn.

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THE SPACE GOON

August 18, 2015

The space goon tripped over some upstart moon and bent the node on his device. Another awkward start to another awkward time frame. He leaped quickly upright, hoping no one had seen his clumsy fall. In the process of leaping upright, he failed to compensate for gravitational quirks, causing his pants to rip. Thoroughly embarrassed, he blushed sparkly crimson and minced edgewise away from the populated center of the nebula, hoping thereby to avoid any close encounters of the worst kind. His hopes were dashed when in his ear rang the mocking cry, ‘Nice trip. See you next fall.’  He whirled around and saw the silly grin on the face of the handsome giant space marmot.

‘Drat,’ said the space goon.

‘Drat indeed,’ said the giant handsome space marmot.

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TRAIL

August 17, 2015

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BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – CECIL B DEMILLE

August 16, 2015

Loon: I’m told by the Lords of the 4th dimension that today’s 3 question interview subject, when living, was big in Hollywood. His name is Cecil B DeMille. Mr. DeMille, you seem to be of average size. Were the residents of Hollywood unusually small?

DeMille’s ghost (wearing a carefully planned look of extreme importance on his face): In comparison to me, everyone I ever worked with was smaller than I am in every way possible.

Loon: And just what sort of work did you do?

DeMille’s ghost (wearing a carefully planned and particularly favorite expression of superiority on his face): I was the creator of the greatest motion pictures ever made.

Loon: Oh. Are those funny pants you’re wearing called jodhpurs?

DeMille’s ghost (wearing a carefully planned look of anger on his face): If you’re trying to be funny, you aren’t succeeding. (raises riding crop in a carefully planned threatening manner)

Loon: I wasn’t … That’s all anyway. (leaves room)

(DeMille’s ghost, wearing a carefully planned serious expression on his face, rises through the ceiling.)

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FLAME IMPERSONATORS

August 15, 2015

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BEST FURROWED BROWS

August 14, 2015

Winners – Best Furrowed Brows – Father and Son Division

Lon and Creighton (Lon Jr) Chaney

lon chaney

lon chaney jr

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