THE JOAN AND JUDITH KWIZ

February 16, 2017

Judith just said to Joan:

a. ‘No, you can’t have a piece of my cake. It’s all mine, I tell you, mine!’

b. ‘10,000 dollars in cash or I’ll reveal to the press what Olivia told me.’

c. ‘You do know that Alfred offered the part to you only after Olivia turned it down, don’t you?’

d. ‘I know how to sharpen scissors on flesh.’

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THROAT

February 15, 2017

throat

danger

the marsh hen stirs

a clever foe

in hiding

takes aim

throat

pierced

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HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY

February 14, 2017

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THE END

February 13, 2017

No food pellet had dropped onto the tray in at least a month or less. The Jigsaw Man sat in the corner and brooded over this single fact. He twisted his fingers together in a writhing knot. The walls of the cubicle, lit a dim blue, flickered momentarily, then somehow for the first time ever died off completely, plunging the windowless cubicle into a black darkness not unlike the interior of a muted demon. Terror possessed the Jigsaw Man. Trembling violently, he dared to crawl toward the door, the door never before opened, the door of fate unknown. With a sob he grasped the cold knob, twisted it, and wrenched the door ajar. He peered outside.

The treekles gazed curiously at the last man emerging. Then they ate him.

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BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – KAY FRANCIS

February 12, 2017

Loon: I’m very excited to welcome to the 3 Question Interview today the very attractive ghost of a motion picture actress from the 1930s I’ve never heard of, Kay Francis. Tell me, Kay Francis, do you prefer your fried eggs with the yolks broken or unbroken?

Francis’ ghost: Bwoken.

Loon: What sort of gravy do you like on your biscuits?

Francis’ ghost: Bwown gwavy.

Loon: Final question. Were you ever worried if your car was parked on a hill, say, that the emergency brake would fail and the car would roll down and swerve up onto the curb and crash through the window of a malt shop?

Francis’ ghost: No.

Loon: Funny. I worry about that all the time. Nevertheless, thanks for sharing with us all about how it was to be a movie star in the 1930s.

(Loon bows and leaves the room. Kay Francis, a vision in her elegant gown, turns to float away.)

 

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HAROLD BAFFINGTON PENDULUM STEED

February 11, 2017

Harold Baffington Pendulum Steed

possessed everything he ever would need.

A bowl, a pencil, an owl, and a bead,

a long thin potato and a spiced pumpkin seed,

and a river of gold nurtured the greed

of Harold Baffington Pendulum Steed.

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THE HENRY CLAY KWIZ ANSWER

February 10, 2017

Henry carried a little satchel filled with earthworm millet cakes to snack on between a breakfast of millet and a dinner of hot earthworm millet stew.

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THE HENRY CLAY KWIZ

February 9, 2017

Henry Clay was the first United States Senator to:

a. be a zombie.

b. live in a hedge.

c. survive exclusively on a diet of earthworms and millet.

d. be officially banned from attending any and all social functions.

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A SENTENCE BY PAUL AUSTER

February 8, 2017

White wants Blue to follow a man named Black and to keep an eye on him for as long as necessary.

From Ghosts in The New York Trilogy

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SPICY PANGOLIN

February 7, 2017

spicy pangolin

twice infused

reverent

frosted

coldly calculating

yet indifferent to

time

i harvest your soul

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