The photographer really shouldn’t have said what he said.
In the pleasant Valley of Swords, not an implement of death was more revered than the Savage Locket of Terminal Agony. The Grand Scimitar housed the Locket in a steel mesh Lurk, a combination of dungeon and spa. Whenever danger threatened, such as when a lamb or a baby giraffe accidentally wandered into the valley, the guardian switchblade squad hurried to the palace to inform the Grand Scimitar. The Grand Scimitar would then release the Savage Locket of Eternal Agony and await developments. Huddled in the palace, all the swords and knives shuddered to hear the bleating cries of agony. When, in time, the Savage Locket of Terminal Agony returned in haughty imperialistic pride and silently reentered the Lurk without any acknowledgement whatsoever of what it regarded as the swordly rabble, the residents, sharp or dull, felt a surge of security, knowing their pleasant valley had again been successfully defended by their champion. What they didn’t know was that the Savage Locket of Eternal Agony had gently led the intruders safely out of the valley and encumbered them with gifts before emitting bleating cries of agony to be heard in the palace.
Loon: I am pleased to welcome to the 3 Question Interview the ghost of Ronald Reagan, who I am told had something to do with both movies and politics. Ronald, did you favor using a tie tack or a tie clip?
Reagan’s ghost: Well, I did favor a clip given to me by my good friend Walt Disney. It was a tasteful representation of Pluto, the dog.
Loon: Fascinating. Did you wear silk socks?
Reagan’s ghost: Well, good old American cotton socks were good enough for me.
Loon: And finally, what is your favorite tree?
Reagan’s ghost: Well, I do like a particular oak tree on my ranch. We often pause in its shade to rest our horses.
Loon: Thank you, Ronald Reagan.
Reagan’s ghost: Well, it’s been an honor and a pleasure.
(Loon accidentally falls over. Reagan flies off on the ghost of an armadillo.)
Alfred ate the entire watermelon, rind and all, in one sitting.