Sweat fair flew from the brow of the Idle Hand, drenching the nearby sleeping crofters. A frenzy of whirl it displayed, galloping from yon to hither carrying and depositing loads of carrion and back again with fervently undue haste. For, you see, japing mockery had penetrated deep to the heart underneath its leathery hide and [...]
The trial balloon floated over the rooftops of London. The judge asked the jury if they had reached a verdict. The jury foreman replied, ‘Yes, Your Honor, we find the defendant guilty.’ ‘Right,’ said the judge. ‘Bailiff, do your duty.’ The bailiff grabbed the defendant by scruff of neck and seat of pants and flung [...]
The bride who was once a turtle moved slowly down the hall and into the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator door, she paused and thought, blinking her eyes twice during the three minutes of subsequent silence. She sighed and reached for a lettuce leaf. She brought it to her mouth and consumed it, moving her jaw [...]
The resplendent toad ladled gravy into his maw with a diamond studded silver dipper veined in gold. Giles Tumbleberry despaired. Why had he been rejected? After all, hadn’t he and he alone invented the intergalactic steamboat? The toad handed the ladle to Giles and belched long and loud. Thereupon Giles flew into a rage, made [...]
The Pride of the Mounties saddled up and rode directly into the heart of Macy’s. Dismounting in Housewares, The Pride queried the nearest associate, a fetching lemur who was, in fact, in the act of fetching a boxed set of china from the stockroom. Following the unsuccessful querying, The Pride swung into the saddle and [...]
The Fashion Statement rolled a last cigarette with one hand held aloft in defiance. The onlookers murmured heartfelt admiration. The Captain of the Guard removed his sunglasses and wept openly, cruelly. The order was given, and the Squad advanced with outstretched plume feathers. The tickling commenced, and The Fashion Statement writhed on the ground in [...]
Spice Island Hal sashayed into the local beverage dispensary and partook of nectars sufficient to render him incapable of movement. Whereupon Portugese Nell Pasternak, entwined overhead in a complicated arrangement of chandeliers, brought forth the following tapestry of speech: “And the flaccid tentacles of night descend Entrusting our hope to a writhing dawn Oh when, [...]
The festivities were well under way. The Punch bowls sloshed. Conversation clattered and banged and rustled. The Lemon Drop was passed out drunk in the kitchen and in danger of being stepped on by the staggering reindeer. The Pool Cue splashed giggling from one end to the other, spitting a stream of water toward the [...]
Beak Rampart flexed his thigh. That’s all it took. The waters surrounding The Great Stone of Dismay receded along with the hairline of a prominent psychologist. A river of throttled gazelles spewed forth from Hell. The land slid, causing winning. Oh, yeah, there was a cloud, too.
The Chapter Three Snowman sidles his sinister way into Chapter Five. He works along the corridor and slips through the door into the maintenance engineer’s closet. All right, janitor’s. There, I’ve said it, and I’m not sorry. The snowman empties the ammonia jug of ammonia, not a big surprise, and fills it instead with talcum [...]
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