Charles rarely emerges from the lower pantry, and on those occasions when he does, the staff bolts pell mell in every possible direction. Charles has that sort of an effect on sentient creatures of any stripe. Stone cold fact. Last Tuesday, so I’m told, Charles emerged, and the staff bolted, all save Buddy, the footman’s […]
In the Old West, where men were men and so were the women, Clarence Forbes shot a house. Spooked by a varmint, Clarence launched himself momentarily skyward, and when he returned to rest on solid ground, he unburdened his holster of pistol and shot a house. While his intent was to send to eternal rest […]
The Lizard of Gauze Once upon a time a cruel carpenter and his savage beast set out to find and subsequently steal the Cube of Flavors from the Tree of Pensive Contemplation, which, according to legendary lore, grew somewhere east of the Great Chambered Mountain of Ken. Unfortunately for the evil pair, they fell into […]
When the itinerant peddler chanced to encounter an enchanted barrier of lavender blooms deep in the forest, he proceeded cautiously, but not cautiously enough. No trace of him remained. The peddler’s wife, alarmed when her good husband failed to return home, searched the woods for days. At last, she stumbled into the presence of the […]
The elephant and the tax consultant moved to the starting line and crouched low, preparing to hurl themselves down the track. The starter, a renegade lumberjack, raised her pistol. Neither elephant nor insurance adjuster spoke a word, but both peered through slit eyes of rage at the innocent sky. Insufferable insults had been exchanged days […]
HARRISON MULT, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW Harrison Mult, attorney-at-law, posing as if being considered for a seat on the Supreme Court, studied the menu. “Hello, my name is Legion. I’ll be your meal escort today. Are you ready to order, sir?” said the waitress, pen at the ready, hair bunned, glasses on chain, focus located. “I was born […]
At long last the creatures of Mars, the cornickles, made themselves known. Telepathic messages from the red planet arrived simultaneously in the minds of all human beings on the planet Earth. Unfortunately, the messages were delivered to Lapps in Japanese, to Finns in Xhosa, to Italians in Tibetan, etc. Therefore, only one Finnish anthropologist was […]
The village blacksmith and his good wife raised three daughters. At the time of this story, they were 14, 12, and 10 years old. They found time one morning to gossip by the well before returning to the boring tasks assigned to them. “The queen has a secret bloom,” said Egborn, 10 years old. “So?” […]
The beast with five eyes entertained lavishly, sparing no expense. Chandeliers hung from chandeliers. Each footman was issued a pair of smiling Irish eyes and a gold-studded thermometer. Every member of the kitchen staff was frosted with live minks. On arrival, guests were dipped in a large vat of chocolate and ushered into the main […]
The storm lashing the town at noon went completely undetected. Ten minutes earlier: Tim Ketchum wore a carbon cap. James Billet tickled the lame rabbit. The Widow Hanley was seen brandishing a knife at Monroe Harper. The stones stacked at the end of Main Street disappeared one at a time into Tredmont’s Saloon. Ed Tilton […]
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Doc's Lunacy
5 of 5 stars to The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton goodreads.com/review/show/55…
