May 31, 2011
When crossing the red dune, the wizard failed to notice the magic lima bean falling from a tiny rip in his pouch. As a result, a needless beanstalk leading to nowhere grew on the red beach. True, it became a tourist attraction of sorts. There is that.
May 30, 2011
The Queen of Hearts is going to be frightfully angry.
May 29, 2011
Seconds later, the elephant discovered the loon’s hiding place and administered to him a severe beating about the head and shoulders with her trunk.
May 28, 2011
StOpStOpStOp OpStOpStOpStOp StOpStOpStOpStOp OpStOpStOpStOpStOp OpStOpStOpStOpSt OpStOpStOpStOp OpStOpStOpSt Much prefer the title Tiger! Tiger! to The Stars My Destination.
May 27, 2011
“The final will be optional. You may take the test or leave $1000 in cash in my mailbox. Hahaha … ha.”
May 26, 2011
On Pothole Dome overlooking Tuolumne Meadows the loon princeling is captured in acrylic paint while calculating whether or not to proceed. He proceeded.
May 25, 2011
He actually used more than 200 aliases when toiling in various Southern California oil fields. He tried to patent a supposed elixir of eternal life he discovered in his oil experiment mania phase. In fact, he’s still alive and working in oil somewhere in Alaska.
May 24, 2011
Whenever Charlie Chaplin traveled incognito to work on oil derricks in the desert, he went by the name of: a. B. Tipton Stallworthy b. Alice Roosevelt c. Rollo Face d. Pheasant Ramone e. Just Plain Ken f. Minnesota Flynn g. Chirp Halfbrain h. Stanislaus Krafchow i. Frodo j. Bob Smith k. all of the above [...]
May 23, 2011
BURGUNDY HAND SCARVES! formed in client-free tubs using absolutely no gelatin (well, a little) Buy 2 for the price of a fine cured ham! MAKE A STATEMENT OF STYLE AT YOUR NEXT BAIL HEARING Savor the envy of your therapist and YES! Be the first on the ski slopes clad only in hand scarves!
May 22, 2011
Up to my waist in the swamp, I struggled to pull the boat through the damned glut of reeds, all the while cursing the leeches availing themselves of the opportunity to slime slither and attach, barnacle-like, to my nether limbs, which in their turn strained to advance by gaining freedom from the powerful sinking mud [...]