Anvil in a Lace Bootie

Louise showed up at the opening of a new grocery store in Altadena wearing this ridiculous outfit as a joke. The joke was on her when she was installed against her will as mayor.

Louise dressed like this: a. in order to go about unnoticed in public. b. to unleash her inner Minnie Mouse. c. because she was forced to do so under gunpoint. d. for a joke.

The Bitterbat household was all atizzy. For Clem Bitterbat, the criminally insane patriarch, had escaped the parlor. Sending out feelers collected from butterflies to all authorities, the Bitterbat household was taken aback when an armored division surrounded their compound. Urged to issue forth and reach for the sky, the Bitterbats complied, though not without quite […]

He doffed his cap. He doffed his chewy black licorice cap. I rest my case.

Loon: Today’s celebrity ghost for the 3 question interview, one Mr. Samuel Becker, was a writer of some note, I am told. Looks a little like the homeless guy living under my shed. Welcome, Mr. Becker. Tell me, did you ever have a run in with a sheriff? Beckett’s ghost: The lawn, the lawn, the […]

Opening a bait shop in Saskatoon was the one thing on Victor’s bucket list that he never got around to doing.

When playing Oberon in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Victor: a. wore this costume on set and off for the duration of the shoot. b. tried, but failed, to maintain dignity while wearing the twig hat. c. was not amused when Mickey Rooney borrowed his lipstick. d. dreamed of opening a bait shop in Saskatoon. e. […]

You’ll need: 1 haunch 1 oven 1 stick 1 bottle of vodka 1 clove 1 random other stuff Beat haunch with stick until you grow weary. Fortify self from vodka bottle. Take clove and rub it lightly over your lips. Kiss haunch. Fortify self with vodka. Bread the haunch, preferably with another variety of meat. […]

I’ll write a poem today to rhyme in the usual way I’ll end with a capper an odd little zapper Oh, how the moon clenches its fist!