HOW TO BECOME THE GREATEST EVIL ROBOT EVER
February 3, 2015
Anvil in a Lace Bootie
A blog for readers who have no time to read
THE DARK STILETTO
December 13, 2014
You peg the guy for a creep right off, but when he tosses 500 green on the table, you figure he’s not so bad after all. ‘It’s my wife Brigitte, Mr. Barlow. I want her followed. I got to know where she goes,’ says the not so bad creep. ‘She’s going to be at this […]
THE BEST EVIL ROBOT EVER KWIZ
January 16, 2014
Tags: brigitte helm, dada
Brigitte Helm, when in character as the best evil robot ever in the silent movie Metropolis, thought about: a. sweet, sweet revenge. b. what she would do to a chocolate cake if she had the billion marks to buy one. c. entering a nunnery and what she would do to the sisters therein. d. bare […]
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WHY SPACING IS IMPORTANT #wordplay therapist the rapist
FIRST LINE OF 'THE SOUND OF MUSIC', DARK VERSION #dada The hills are alive with disgusting vermin
3 of 5 stars to The Confession by John Grisham goodreads.com/review/show/29…
THE HUME CRONIN KWIZ #dada There was nothing Hume liked more than: being called Mr. Tandy practicing spit takes into the face of William Bendix relaxing in Muncie, Indiana, which brought back pleasant memories of his favorite role rolling down grassy knolls with Alfred Hitchcock pic.twitter.com/9VMIdYlZD7
NOVEL TITLES BEFORE EDITING #dada War And Peace And A Lazy Summer Afternoon The Sound And The Fury And A Nice Cup Of Tea The Naked And The Dead And A Loaf Of Bread Gone With The Wind, Returned With The Rain From Here To Eternity And Back Again
The Bread of Life, and it settled into its breadbox and pulled the cloth of gold around it.
frighteningly horrid group had tossed the empty and licked spotless cups into the recycle receptacle, The Bread of Life ushered the demons back to Hell before making its own way to its castle somewhere east of the West Wind. “That’s what I call a right proper day," mumbled
ordered a single scoop of the finest vanilla in a cup, imagination not being a feature of note in the typical demon personality. The Bread of Life, to be sure, ordered a triple scoop banana split, though it must be reported that all three scoops were vanilla. After the
a particularly vile little demon, the one with green phlegm dripping from its ears and bladder. “Hold your horses, Disgusto. First I’m treatin’ everybody to ice cream!” said The Bread of Life. “Yay!” enthused the demons. Into the Baskin Robbins the repulsive mob oozed. Each
THE BREAD OF LIFE #flashfiction Leading its demons in fertility leaps, The Bread of Life danced across the fields. Subsiding at the road, it waved the demons to rest. “That oughta take care of things for a while,” said The Bread of Life. “Can we go home now, then?” asked
next day with a strange gaping grin of rictus pasted on his face, he had but one arm.
writhing in mud, skipped laughing and wild-eyed along the canal, collapsed weeping in a puddle, and was struck by lightning. He sat up and blinked his eyes, not once, but hundreds and hundreds of times. When he showed up for work the
THE VIOLENT QUALITY CONTROL INSPECTOR #dada #flashfiction The Violent Quality Control Inspector lost it completely when faced with one too many uneven seams. He spun in place shrieking, tattered the offending garment with his teeth, jumped out the window, flailed his limbs while
@anniekarni @Linda1746 Denmark wins! It doesn't have to have the sewage soiling its land.
4 of 5 stars to Force of Nature by Jane Harper goodreads.com/review/show/29…
@TheRealBigJC The same thing the boys in the Kremlin did when Joe Stalin collapsed on the floor and died. Stand around and wait.
THE HAPPINESS BOOK SERIES #dada TYPE YOUR WAY TO HAPPINESS by Secretariat the Horse RENDER YOUR WAY TO HAPPINESS by Lard Ringner HOP YOUR WAY TO HAPPINESS by Bill the Kangaroo PILLAGE YOUR WAY TO HAPPINESS by Cool Hand Loot
THE FIVE AGES OF MAN #philosophy #dada 6 19 43 2 83 All other ages are useless.
BATED vs BAITED #words If you’re awaiting an event with bated breath, you’re scarcely breathing. Your breath is restrained. If you’re awaiting an event with baited breath, you’ve been eating garlic.
bloody grin was all the reward he needed. He had indeed found the perfect gift.
trickled down his forehead, mixing with the blood, when he noted the ecstasy displayed by his beloved on first catching sight of his gift. She threw the watch fob in his face and rushed to embrace and devour the great pink Clydesdale. Snip snap, not a hoof was left. Her
glass and metal into his forehead. Of course! Why didn’t I think of that before? Thanks, exploding watch. A song on his lips, Jim Darling hurried from the office and sped on a line directly to the nearest steed barn, where he forthwith made a purchase. On returning home, joy
THE PERFECT GIFT #dada #ohenry #flashfiction Jim Darling was positively frantic and negatively charged over the looming impossibility of finding the perfect gift for his beloved. He pulled out his pocket watch and wound it so tightly that it exploded, sending shards of
5 of 5 stars to The Wapshot Scandal by John Cheever goodreads.com/review/show/29…
characters from his works, sometimes mentioning the double play combination of Heep to Cruncher to Guppy.
DICKENS #dickens He never got over being forced to quit school and go to work in that blacking factory as a kid. Whenever he so much as glimpsed a tin of shoe polish, he would fly into a spittle flecked rage. His handlers would have to talk him down with praise of random
KENNETH, OH KENNETH #poetry kenneth oh kenneth please come to the barn i forgive you for breaking my car kenneth oh kenneth stop carding that yarn and help me revive stanley marr kenneth oh kenneth i don’t give a darn if your head is stuck in a jar kenneth oh kenneth … too late
Little brother basks in big sister's easy embrace #fredandadele pic.twitter.com/JCqUzRxQdm
CAMELLIA #thomasmann This lovely camellia, coughing softly, dreamed of being cured at the sanatorium on Magic Mountain. A loon, believing itself to be a time traveler and potential intimate friend of Hans Castorp, promised to do all in its power to get her there. pic.twitter.com/EqQDLnt5Db
4 of 5 stars to Coach Wooden and Me by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar goodreads.com/review/show/29…
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