INNOCENTS
April 26, 2015
Anvil in a Lace Bootie
A blog for readers who have no time to read
THE LONE TULIP
May 28, 2013
Tags: tulips
This tulip excused itself from the bed. It needed a few moments on its own to reflect on the general condition of tulipkind. It returned to the bed not too much later, having taken up the firm resolve to enjoy itself and make merry with its fellows in defiance of the weather’s bullying whims.
WAITING FOR THE CONCERT TO START
May 13, 2013
Tulips milled about outside the Hall waiting for the doors to open. They had long anticipated attending this particular concert. Featured on the same bill were Cactus Jack Frond, The Roots, and Daffy and the Dills. Scalpers were earning green lettuce leaf over stem. Dealers in illegal pollen had no dearth of clients. In short, […]
By this guy (grown old):
dochorton - at - live - dot - com
RSS: Subscribe to
Doc's LunacyTweets
5 of 5 stars to The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton goodreads.com/review/show/55…
toughest test yet for the shy shamus with minimal bladder control? Only the sandman knows, and he’s not talking. He’s chuckling, though.
NOIR BLURB #PulpFiction A friendly drunk shows up dead, and the party’s just beginning. The mean streets of Pasadena spew venom on private eye Prel Turpin as he unravels a classy dame and pays for it with a ceremonial bludgeoning. Could this turn out to be the
dada HOMILIES #dada In the land of broken emeralds the barber stands alone. To duel with an invisible sword is to invite a friend to dine. The only thing worse than killing a horse is finding a marble.
Dickens on the jaw. Both writers sprawled on the canvas, and the contest was declared a draw. The two of them were seen later that night in a pub, sobbing and singing.
through 8 were much the same, what with the Dane weeping and the Englishman chatting. However, in the midst of Round 9, in response to overhearing a cutting remark from the crowd about his knobby knees, Andersen fell forward weeping in grief, and his giant head clipped
gratification, Andersen covered up, sobbing on the ropes. Dickens became so verbose that he failed to deliver a single blow, and the round ended with Andersen retreating to his corner weeping. The crowd booed the lack of action, causing Andersen to burst into tears. Rounds 2
ANDERSEN/DICKENS FIGHT RECAP #Literature At the bell, the lanky Dane with the huge head, hands and feet burst into tears. Dickens advanced with a left jab, commenting, “Hans, I thoroughly enjoyed ‘The Little Mermaid’.” Bursting into renewed tears, this time tears of
2 of 5 stars to The Witch of Portobello by Paulo Coelho goodreads.com/review/show/55…
THE VENISON POEM #poem #whimsy Venison is good to eat Especially if you’re fond of meat Even if you’re vegetarian You’d like it better than random carrion
pleasant kangaroo smiled enigmatically and played an Aussie lament on her slide trombone. An ostrich was later found drowned. Moral: When drowning an ostrich, it is wise to play a trombone.
THE PLEASANT KANGAROO #Dada #fable The pleasant kangaroo hopped to the assistance of a fallen wombat. In gratitude, the wombat donated an undisclosed sum to The Happy Walrus Foundation, which funneled the money into contraband krill. On learning of this development, the
4 of 5 stars to Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel goodreads.com/review/show?id…
ENTS IN TRAINING #Tolkien This is an image captured from the documentary film, ‘Young Ents in Training’. Here the young ents are running the hill. They do twenty reps, up hard, down easy, before moving on to leaping practice. pic.twitter.com/Ba2DfjgPwP
LITERARY NEAR MISSES #whimsy The Young Man and the Sea David Tinfield The Maltese Hawk The Sound and the Furry
THE RICH #cartoon “Frankly, Mother, I’d prefer not to hear about the time you went skinny-dipping with Fatty Chalfont.” pic.twitter.com/U3UKoYiAJy
LIMERICK #Limerick An exceedingly seedy young seed was determined to learn how to read She started with Joyce, an unusual choice for a seedy or unseedy seed
of Babe Ruth. Carved elk? Face of Babe Ruth. This particular carving of a Native American with the face of Babe Ruth may be found on the sidewalk where Strangler Pete met his doom, Phil Sessions.
OBSESSED WOODCARVER #story #dada Once there was a woodcarver who went by the name of Strangler Pete. His real name was Deborah LaMaze. Anyway, to get to the thing about him, he was obsessed with Babe Ruth. Every piece he carved had the face of Babe Ruth. Carved elephant? Face pic.twitter.com/d9KmQh35lX
ON CHOOSING WALLS FOR A FORT #Dada High or low? Fat or thin? Walls should be high enough to remove all possibility of your enemies simply stepping over them. They should be of a thickness not susceptible to collapse when lightly tapped.
DON’T ASK A LOON FOR DIRECTIONS #dada #nonsense “More courtly than sagacious, the lemmings of Carpathia often distribute clan-themed blueberry muffins to indigent cormorants,” replied the loon when asked if it knew the way to the train station. pic.twitter.com/2S6omwC7Tq
IMMENSE EGO #wordplay #Dada His ego was so immense that he had all the eucalyptus trees on his estate ripped out and replaced with mecalyptus trees.
CARTOON #cartoon “No, flowers. See? It’s only my granddaughter, not an emissary from the evil vegetarian vampire root sucker.” pic.twitter.com/lpXGqtjKPv
JUNGLE ADVENTURE #whimsy Up to my waist in the swamp, I struggled to pull the boat through the glut of reeds while cursing the leeches attached to my legs straining to gain freedom from the powerful sinking mud suction. Meanwhile, I worried about my credit card debt. pic.twitter.com/I1jEk0l44H
4 of 5 stars to A Day Late and a Dollar Short by Terry McMillan goodreads.com/review/show/55…
AD #dada BURGUNDY HAND SCARVES! formed in client-free tubs using absolutely no gelatin (well, a little) Buy 2 for the price of a fine cured ham! MAKE A STATEMENT OF STYLE AT YOUR NEXT BAIL HEARING Savor the envy of your therapist
CHARLIE CHAPLIN LIE #lies #dada When Charlie Chaplin traveled incognito to work on oil derricks in the desert, he went by the name of B. Tipton Stallworthy, Alice Roosevelt, Rollo Face, Pheasant Ramone, Just Plain Ken, Minnesota Flynn, Chirp Halfbrain, Stanley Krafchow, or Frodo. pic.twitter.com/C526y8gBtJ
4 of 5 stars to Serpico by Peter Maas goodreads.com/review/show/55…
CARTOON #cartoon “The final will be optional. You may take the test or leave $1000 in cash in my mailbox. Hahaha …... ha.” pic.twitter.com/9nTwEO5KEg
LIMA BEAN LOST ON THE NIGHT OF MANY MOONS #fairytale When crossing the red dune, the wizard failed to notice the magic lima bean falling from a tiny rip in his pouch. As a result, a needless beanstalk leading to nowhere grew on the red beach. pic.twitter.com/0jvDzIaY5E
-
Recent Posts
Archives
- April 2019 (28)
- March 2019 (31)
- February 2019 (28)
- January 2019 (31)
- December 2018 (30)
- November 2018 (30)
- October 2018 (31)
- September 2018 (29)
- August 2018 (31)
- July 2018 (29)
- June 2018 (30)
- May 2018 (31)
- April 2018 (30)
- March 2018 (31)
- February 2018 (28)
- January 2018 (31)
- December 2017 (31)
- November 2017 (31)
- October 2017 (31)
- September 2017 (30)
- August 2017 (30)
- July 2017 (31)
- June 2017 (30)
- May 2017 (31)
- April 2017 (29)
- March 2017 (28)
- February 2017 (28)
- January 2017 (31)
- December 2016 (27)
- November 2016 (30)
- October 2016 (31)
- September 2016 (30)
- August 2016 (31)
- July 2016 (30)
- June 2016 (18)
- May 2016 (31)
- April 2016 (30)
- March 2016 (29)
- February 2016 (29)
- January 2016 (31)
- December 2015 (29)
- November 2015 (30)
- October 2015 (31)
- September 2015 (26)
- August 2015 (30)
- July 2015 (30)
- June 2015 (29)
- May 2015 (30)
- April 2015 (29)
- March 2015 (31)
- February 2015 (27)
- January 2015 (29)
- December 2014 (28)
- November 2014 (30)
- October 2014 (31)
- September 2014 (26)
- August 2014 (27)
- July 2014 (27)
- June 2014 (30)
- May 2014 (22)
- April 2014 (22)
- March 2014 (24)
- February 2014 (25)
- January 2014 (25)
- December 2013 (25)
- November 2013 (29)
- October 2013 (28)
- September 2013 (26)
- August 2013 (30)
- July 2013 (28)
- June 2013 (28)
- May 2013 (31)
- April 2013 (27)
- March 2013 (31)
- February 2013 (28)
- January 2013 (31)
- December 2012 (31)
- November 2012 (30)
- October 2012 (31)
- September 2012 (30)
- August 2012 (31)
- July 2012 (25)
- June 2012 (30)
- May 2012 (31)
- April 2012 (30)
- March 2012 (31)
- February 2012 (29)
- January 2012 (31)
- December 2011 (31)
- November 2011 (30)
- October 2011 (31)
- September 2011 (30)
- August 2011 (31)
- July 2011 (27)
- June 2011 (30)
- May 2011 (32)
- April 2011 (30)
- March 2011 (31)
- February 2011 (27)
- January 2011 (31)
- December 2010 (27)
- November 2010 (30)
- October 2010 (31)
- September 2010 (30)
- August 2010 (31)
- July 2010 (29)
- June 2010 (30)
- May 2010 (31)
- April 2010 (30)
- March 2010 (30)
- February 2010 (28)
- January 2010 (31)
- December 2009 (31)
- November 2009 (28)
- October 2009 (31)
- September 2009 (30)
- August 2009 (31)
- July 2009 (30)
- June 2009 (26)
Categories
Blogroll
- A Mommy Story
- Attack of the Redneck Mommy
- Baroque in Hackney
- Bright Lights After Dark
- Confessions of a Pioneer Woman
- Dooce
- Girl's Gone Child
- Greenbriar Picture Shows
- Her Bad Mother
- If Charlie Parker Was a Gunslinger
- Mimi Smartypants
- Mom-101
- Roger Ebert's Journal
- She Just Walks Around With It
- Sunset Gun
- Sweet Juniper!
- The Barefoot Kitchen Witch
- The Sheila Variations
Tags
anthony trollope art autumn Bloomsday brigitte helm cartoon charles dickens Christmas dada dada art dada humor dada poetry dada story fairy tale flash flash fiction flowers gloria grahame Halloween Houdini humor James Joyce joseph conrad L. Frank Baum mark twain mary pickford noir nonsense poem o. henry Oz philosophy poetry politics roses sasquatch science fiction shakespeare spring theater tree triffid triffids tulips valentine will rogersMeta
Powered by WordPress | Optimized for Firefox 3.5+/Chrome 2+/Safari 3+/Internet Explorer 9+ | Copyright © 2009-2024