EAT YOUR HEART OUT, CLAUDE MONET or I’M THINKING ABOUT YOU, TEDDY ROOSEVELT or THE CHARGE OF THE LIGHT BRIGADE, A REMNANT or THE DOWAGER WITCH’S FAVORITE POND
CONVERSATIONAL STROLL THROUGH TIME
“Egad, Henderson, I must confess that my recent post-prandial ambulatory experience proved to be most invigorating.”
“Say, you mugs oughta try it sometime.”
“I can dig it, man.”
“Dude, like, totally.”
INVALID INVALID WIND WIND #EnglishLanguage
To wind his way down the road in such a blustering wind proved extremely difficult for the invalid, plagued as he was with guilt for carrying an invalid driver’s license.
ACTION AND PURPOSE #dada#nonsense
action – tossing the first vole of spring onto a trampoline.
purpose – tactic used by Betty to interpret the wishes of Otto, the rain god.
ANTHROPOLOGICAL WHIMSY #anthropology#pun
When the future anthropologist’s mother emphatically declared, “You shall not study early west African cultures,” the young girl replied, “Ah, shan’t I?”
I wonder if the rent boy forgot to exercise my ocelot, mused Pride.
Sadly, the rent boy had forgotten all about the cheetah and the ocelot. Instead, he bought a Kentucky derby and wore it constantly when he moved to an island off the coast of Argentina and wept for Eva Peron.
BILLOWING INGOT #flashfiction#Nonsense
Jowls Revenue and Pride Hassenpfeffer mused independently, Jowls somewhere in the Amazon basin, Pride somewhere inside a python. Surprisingly, they mused in similar veins.
I wonder if the rent boy forgot to walk my cheetah, mused Jowls.
THE STEPS OF HOPE #poetry#dada
The Steps of Hope,
bruised and battered,
shackled by bars of despair,
bleed pink,
bleed yellow,
bleed the tears of a bear. pic.twitter.com/ameTiWPLqd
a silly straw hat, raised his pistol, paused dramatically, and fired. Ty was out like a shot, determined to reverse the result of his previous race, a race in which he had come fifth to three dead people and a sloth.
TY FOTE #dada
Ty Foat, the fastest man alive, settled into the starting blocks. To his left, Plodslow Heavyfoot did the same. To his right, Weakstarve Brokenankle was likewise occupied. Lesser entities in other lanes completed the field. The starter, wearing
STAT #whimsy
“Stat!” shouted the doctor.
“Maury Wills stole 104 bases in 1962!” the scrub nurse quickly responded.
The doctor then hit the scrub nurse over the head with a rubber chicken, and all concerned in the operating room donned red clown noses.
gilded wall, noting with satisfaction the fiery gleam of her ruby necklace.
She moved with stately grace from the dining room and ascended the curving marble stairs. She advanced down the long hallway to the nursery. Opening the door, she announced, “All right, children. No more
THE PAMPERED GOAT #fable#whimsy
The pampered goat dismissed the butler, the footmen, her personal servant, and both parlor maids with a wave of her hoof. The help withdrew, bowing, from the palatial dining room. The pampered goat studied her reflection in the great mirror on the
ALL GOES LIKE #language#whimsy
She’s all, “I fear you have me at a disadvantage, sir.”
He goes, “Indeed?”
She’s like, “A gentleman would never place a lady in such a compromising position.”
and so on ad nauseam like totally forever.
HOW TO LABEL A PHOTO #DadaTeaser
‘The Divine Right of Kings’
or
‘What the Elephant Knew’
or
‘Madness on a Trolley’
or
‘Dreams of a Wombat’
or
‘Beneath the Gondola’
or
‘The Inner Life of Al Capone’ pic.twitter.com/XLPwATtB3M
FLEA INSPECTORS #dada
Flea inspectors:
a. are required by law to bathe in ambergris.
b. dip their tweezers in ambergris.
c. can be counted on when you need a cup of ambergris.
d. have the ability to flit.
out a pocket comb and combing his pocket.
“Why, that’s simply marvelous,” praised the Trollop, slicing three thin wedges of thick brandied soup, one each for herself, her son, and her son’s lapel badger.
Then all of them were returned to the home and locked away.