April 29, 2014
Every morning the eccentric billionaire descends the grand stairway and announces his name to the assembled staff. On each occasion the name announced is different. On this morning he says, ‘My name is Beak Hickenlooper.’ At this, the staff bows or curtsies, according to gender. The housekeeper then slips away to the dining room, where […]
April 28, 2014
Way back 2 days ago this was the scene. Today not a trace of the white stuff remains.
April 25, 2014
The ravens on set were extremely well behaved. Mesmerized, one might say.
April 24, 2014
Taking on the role of Svengali, John Barrymore stayed in character by: a. running amok through a local dairy. b. hypnotizing ravens to do his bidding. c. poking random strangers in the eye with his beard. d. igniting small brush fires with his gaze. e. beginning each day by eating a bowl of swan’s eyes.
April 22, 2014
Morning slapped me like a deranged walrus. My brain felt like it had been chopped and pureed by a band of angry aphids wielding barbed flails. ‘You’re an angel,’ I croaked when Wanda, my secretary, whose petals had seen the seedier side of the San Fernando Valley, poured a pitcher of gin down my face. […]
April 20, 2014
Loon: We have a writer I think I’ve heard of today for the 3 question interview, Mr. Nick Gogol. Tell me, Nick, is there a question you would like me to ask? Gogol’s ghost: The Roman Nose Replacement saluted his inner thigh. Loon: Did he? Gogol’s ghost: Not really, but he should have. Loon: Do […]
April 17, 2014
Henderson rose from the chair, advanced to the center of the room, paused, thrust his right leg forward, and stood stock still for a time balanced in this peculiar manner. ‘I do this sometimes,’ he said before he returned to the chair. His guests departed rapidly.
April 15, 2014
Peaches Lamborghini delicately slipped the dagger between the ribs of the umbrella.