THE TRI-BILLED STABBER BIRD

June 20, 2011

Here is the tri-billed stabber bird seeking something to stab.

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HARRISON’S SERVANT AND THE ROSE

June 19, 2011

Harrison’s servant questioned the rose closely. “Do you swear on your honor as a comely bloom that my master will succeed in winning the hand of the handless maiden?” asked Harrison’s servant. “I swear on my grandmother’s petal pushers,” replied the rose. Satisfied, Harrison’s servant plucked and subsequently presented the rose to his master, who […]

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A SENTENCE BY EUGENE O’NEILL

June 18, 2011

“I remember a sweet, strange girl, with affectionate, bewildered eyes as if God had locked her in a dark closet without any explanation.” I, too, remember Mamie Eisenhower.

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CARTOON FRIDAY 107

June 17, 2011

“Normally when I’m this drunk I can’t see.”

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YES BLOOMSDAY YES

June 16, 2011

Could a swim duck? says I

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I BEG YOUR PARDON

June 15, 2011

I never promised you a … Oh, wait. Here it is anyway.

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HIT PLANT

June 14, 2011

Rocco Banducci, grizzled hit plant now in federal custody, agrees to name names in exchange for plastic surgery and relocation as a Shasta daisy.

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THERE COMES A TIME

June 13, 2011

There comes a time for all of us when we must: 1. learn to bake cookies. 2. eat a piece of bad fish. 3. give thanks to the avocado man. 4. admit that we’re not that thrilled with marzipan. 5. consume an entire box of chocolates and rationalize it by eating a stalk of celery.

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THE BULL’S-EYE DOOR

June 12, 2011

(Therapist and patient face each other. Each is seated on a comfortable chair. A large door with a bull’s-eye painted on it looms in the background.) Patient: I’m scared to do it because of my dream. Therapist: Tell me about the dream. Patient: I’m talking to you, and you tell me I have to leave […]

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A SENTENCE BY THE BROTHERS STRUGATSKY

June 11, 2011

‘HAPPINESS FOR EVERYBODY, FREE, AND NO ONE WILL GO AWAY UNSATISFIED!’ The Russkies do some happening scifi. Check out the Andrei Tarkovsky movie, STALKER, based on the bros’ book, ROADSIDE PICNIC.

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