ADVICE FROM A SWAN

March 9, 2016

Eat the candles, not the cake. To ensure success, collect hedgehogs. If you seek a lake, journey not to an opera house.

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THE SASH – A NONSENSE POEM

March 8, 2016
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He wove a sash of chocolate He wove a sash of ice When asked to choose which one to wear He said, ‘They’re both so nice. I’ll wear them stuck together with a paste made out of rice.’ And off he went down the lane trotting like a collie He paused beside a prickly bush […]

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WINTER RETURNS FROM VACATION

March 7, 2016
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A VERY MILD, ALMOST PLEASANT, CURSE

March 6, 2016

May all the serpents of the Nile encroach upon your dignity.

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THE MAN WHO GAVE NO OFFENSE

March 5, 2016

The man who gave no offense rarely emerged from his hiding place for fear he might somehow upset a random stranger met on the street. With this thought foremost in his mind, he set forth only when in direst need between 2 and 3 in the morning to visit refuse bins in search of edible […]

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THE ALAN LADD KWIZ ANSWER

March 4, 2016

Framed and displayed on the wall by the piano was Ladd’s beloved map of Glendale autographed by Nita Naldi.

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THE ALAN LADD KWIZ

March 3, 2016

Alan Ladd’s favorite thing was: a. the Sunkist orange crate he always hauled with him to stand on when he had to appear taller than his leading lady. b. skittering up the walls of buildings like a human fly. c. a cracked blue cereal bowl. d. a map of Glendale autographed by silent film star […]

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RECIPES NOT SAMPLED

March 2, 2016

Eel Skins With Onions Halibut Chunks With Dredged Paste Gristle In Aspic

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THE HANDS OF ALVIN PEPLOW

March 1, 2016

The hands of Alvin Peplow, perceiving that Peplow slept, uncoupled themselves from his wrists, as was their nightly custom, and exited the bed chamber. They spidered sideways down the hall in a state of hurrying glee. In a trice they had opened the front door and scuttled down the steps into the abandoned late night […]

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