THE BIRTHDAY OF CHARLES DARWIN

February 12, 2019

the birthday of charles darwin is a many splendored thing like rattlesnakes and barkeeps and a random drunken king the birthday of charles darwin is a time to sit and muse on the prospect of going shopping for a brand new pair of shoes happy birthday, charles

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THEATRICAL ‘BREAK A LEG’ ALTERNATIVES

February 11, 2019

‘May your retinas be irreversibly damaged.’ ‘Get leprosy.’ ‘Slice off a finger.’

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BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – THOMAS HARDY

February 10, 2019

Loon: What a privilege it is to welcome Thomas Hardy to this week’s Celebrity Ghost 3 Question Interview. I can’t help but ask if you were related to Stan Laurel. Were you related to Stan Laurel? Hardy’s ghost: Not in the least. Why don’t you ask me something sensible? Loon: Too bad about Laurel. I […]

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THE JESSIE MATTHEWS KWIZ ANSWER

February 8, 2019

Her Daddy would not buy her a bow-wow.

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THE JESSIE MATTHEWS KWIZ

February 7, 2019

Jessie was pensive wearing her outdoor dining ensemble because: a. Daddy wouldn’t buy her a bow-wow. b. her sister got to wear a gaudier costume. c. her elephant died. d. she lost her Rudyard Kipling autographed cricket bat.

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GOLDEN OLDIE

February 6, 2019

grape>>>>>>>yada yada>>>>>>>raisin plum>>>>>>>yada yada>>>>>>>prune

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MARBLE ANECDOTE

February 5, 2019

A cat’s eye marble, crystal clear with a neatly centered yellow ribbon twist, rolled across the rug and came to a stop next to a short heavy club which leaned against the wall in the corner of the room nearest the fireplace. “Excuse me, club, are you tall enough to see the clock? I’d like […]

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UNSEEMLY YOGA POSE

February 4, 2019

flatulent ox

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LIT FIRECRACKER DROPPED IN THE POND

February 2, 2019

s s s s s plash

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THE COLETTE KWIZ ANSWER

February 1, 2019

Colette gave Nijinsky a baguette after he first performed the faun afternoon.

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