November 25, 2010
All answers were correct except a, Miles Standish and the salsa. He, in fact, was in charge of decorations. In an interesting sidebar, the eel slurping contest was won by 14-year old Elizabeth Tilley, who in future would produce close to a baker’s dozen of children, who in turn would gift her with 88 grandchildren. Her first child would not be a streetcar named Desire. The baby would, however, be a daughter named Desire.
November 24, 2010
That first Thanksgiving in 1621 featured:
a. a piquant salsa prepared lovingly by Miles Standish
b. clam and roast duck sandwiches
c. Squanto leg wrestling with Governor Bradford
d. an eel-slurping contest
e. enough wine, ‘very sweete & strong’, to satisfy ye palates of all.
November 23, 2010
BILGE RAT FOAMING MOUTHPASTE
November 22, 2010
Several thousand years ago a poor woodcutter left his hut deep in the forest to find a wife. Hopping into his Volkswagen, he drove directly into the nearest river and sank to the bottom, where a mermaid bound him to an old bedstead. Thus were they happily married and content. The mermaid’s father, a kindly ogre, supplied them with seventeen servants of gold and one of bronze. The servant of bronze, whose name was Dave Stottlemeyer, possessed a wandering eye. On the day the eye wandered off for good, the servant of bronze received permission from the mermaid to leave the river in search of the disobedient eye. On gaining land, the servant of bronze was amazed to gaze upon the unknown wonders of the forest. Trees, for instance. A princess, busy hacking away in the woods just for fun with her favorite ax, noticed the bronze youth and at once married him. Later, in the palace, she questioned him about his wandering eye. “It wandered off,” he said. “Ha Ha!” cried the Princess, producing the eye from the toadskin pouch she always wore about her waist. The eye promised never more to roam, and so they remained happily wed for the foreseeable future. Then they died and went to London.
November 21, 2010
This cloud advance scouting party looks innocent enough. Looks are often deceiving, as some guy once said. The full out attack was soon to commence, and now snow trudgery is upon us.
November 20, 2010
Alpha children wear grey.
in the Brave New World
November 19, 2010
“I suppose you’re wondering if I’m a homicidal maniac. Well, sorry, but yes I am.”
November 18, 2010
The answers to yesterday’s kwiz are a and e. The loon has tried all the methods indicated, and he assures me that a and e, when used in combination, proved to be the most effective. He also laments, in spite of roof wolf assistance, the waste of time spent building and slaughtering to construct the blood moat. His standard issue howitzer is the least useful, of course, because of its camouflage.
November 17, 2010
The best way to discourage intruders?
a. high pitched laughter accompanied by eccentric dance
b. standard issue howitzer
c. moat of blood
d. deploy roof wolves
e. stand in the window wearing a suit of crayons and tinsel
Answer in this space tomorrow
November 16, 2010
I recall, I recall
tasting teenagers in the mall
I recollect, I recollect
milkmaids plump and whitely necked
I remember, I remember
stepping on a burning ember
I think back, I think back
to pleasant times upon the rack
I call to mind, I call to mind
a fisherman on whom I dined
I reflect, I reflect
Wait a minute
No I don’t
