July 18, 2010
You are entertained by a blog post. You’re moved to comment. Here’s how to improve said comment:
Wrong – lol (grins)
Right – lol (garrotes small mammal)
Wrong – Great post! (jumps for joy)
Right – Great post! (lifts Volkswagen in teeth)
Wrong – I hate it when that happens (frowns)
Right – I hate it when that happens (places stick of butter in shoe)
Wrong – I like pumpkins, too. (makes happy face)
Right – I like pumpkins, too. (carves Z for Zorro in leg)
Wrong – My thoughts exactly (gives affirmative nod)
Right – My thoughts exactly (eats dog food off floor)
July 17, 2010
Egbert came into the large, dimly lit drawing-room with the air of a man who is not certain whether he is entering a dovecote or a bomb factory, and is prepared for either eventuality.
Comic stories sprinkled with darkness and cruelty were his fame claims. Think P. G. Wodehouse with an edge. World War One – killed in action.
July 16, 2010
“But most of all, I’d like to thank my family physician, Dr. Henry Jekyll.”
July 15, 2010
Alfred Hitchcock got most of his film ideas while:
a. duck hunting.
b. jogging.
c. snow boarding.
d. pitching batting practice to the Cleveland Indians.
e. climbing Mount Everest.
f. sleeping.
July 14, 2010
Okay, let’s say that’s the island of Jom, beloved home of the time-traveling shapeshifters on the world of Boad. I’ve got a narrator, Plumly, the girl from Earth who was rescued to Boad by Bekka in one of Bekka’s later tales. (not Bekka of Thorns available at http://wildchildpublishing.com, but another) I’ve got a title, Dodden of Jom. I’ve got a beach of green sand and a huge lavender lake. Now all I have to do is answer the questions, “Who is Dodden?” and “What’s his story?” Perhaps I should bring Quingcess Blosso of Blossom Castle along. I think I will. Stay tuned.
July 13, 2010
The Root of All Evil awoke one morning and pondered on how to spend his day. He plucked up a pen and on his notepad he made out a list of potential purchases:
1. snow burglar
2. ripe elf
3. tincture of gremlin
4. Detroit
He then proceeded to make the purchases and to use them in a crafty manner to increase his wealth. Truth be told, it turned out to be a most satisfactory day in the life of the Root of All Evil. In fact, at day’s end he leaped high in the air and clicked his heels together not once, but four times.
July 12, 2010
The knights ducked and drew themselves together; the spears struck at the same moment; the horses checked in mid-career, reared up and fell over backward; the spears burst and went sailing high in the air, turning over and over gracefully like the results of high explosive; and the lady on the palfrey looked away.
The Once and Future King is most worthy of eyeball note.
July 9, 2010
“… and then, skillfully blending in with the humans, I’ll make my way …”
July 8, 2010
Yes, my friends, some day the Pink Engulfenment will arrive from the farthest reaches of outer space, and we puny earthlings will be unprepared, unprepared, I tell you, and everything we have known and cherished will be buried in the Pink Engulfenment. Ironic? How should I know? But nevertheless, HAHAHAHAHAHA!
-from a recently discovered Ed Wood screenplay fragment
