December 10, 2017
Loon: What an unprecedented glory we have today in that the Lords of the 4th Dimension have brought to us for the 3 Question Interview two celebrity ghosts, the Brothers Grimm! Brothers, do you have a favorite word?
Ghosts of Grimms (in harmony): Ausgezeichnet!
Loon: Ausge…what?
Ghosts of Grimms (in harmony): Zeichnet!
Loon: Oh. One last question. Can you explain the significance of repetition in fairy tales?
Ghosts of Grimms (in harmony): Nein.
Loon: Thank you for this fascinating glimpse into times unknown.
(Grimms dance off impressively, turning cartwheels and whirling apace. Loon seems to have turned to stone.)
December 8, 2017
The orphans were duly terrorized.
December 7, 2017
Believe it or not, these people are:
a. celebrating a record harvest of yams.
b. performing an obscure baldness cure ritual.
c. shooting the opening scene in a film about industrial espionage.
d. preparing to terrify orphans.
December 6, 2017
Around this time every year the reindeer grow restive.
December 5, 2017
Millard Fenwick, Quail at Law, ended his summation with an emphatic plume nod. The judge instructed the jury and sent them into seclusion to deliberate. Returning almost before they left, the jury forebird announced a verdict of not guilty. Millard Fenwick, Quail at Law, gave one triumphant plume nod to his client and hurried off to invite Daisy, his one true love, to join him for lunch, preening as best he could in order to effect the most handsome and well-groomed version of himself possible. And later, when Millard Fenwick, Quail at Law, presented a proposal of marriage accompanied by no fewer than 18 plume nods, Daisy, a discerning and practical robin, allowed as how the proposition was not totally abhorrent to her. In fact, she nodded yes, and they lived happily ever after for most of the time.
December 3, 2017
Loon: To bring us into the holiday season the Lords of the 4th Dimension have delivered unto us the ghost of William Randolph Heart’s chauffeur to under go the 3 Question Interview. May I ask you first, William Randolph Hearst’s chauffeur, something about William Randolph Hearst’s cars, automobiles, and adjacent devices?
The ghost of William Randolph Hearst’s chauffeur: You may.
Loon: Thank you. Second question. While waiting for William Randolph Hearst to complete whatever business he might have had inside whatever building or structure, did you sometimes skip around the vehicle singing?
The ghost of William Randolph Hearst’s chauffeur: No.
Loon: Pity. Finally, did you ever get a chance when you weren’t driving William Randolph Hearst around to date Aimee Semple McPherson?
The ghost of William Randolph Hearst’s chauffeur: Twice.
Loon: Thank you. That concludes this week’s 3 Question Interview. Good night and good hunting.
(The ghost of William Randolph Hearst’s chauffeur spins into nothingness. Loon puts on roller skates and glides away.)
December 1, 2017
Moments after this picture was taken, the potion worked on the photographer.
