Anvil in a Lace Bootie

Prudhomme Jerico unfastened the hinges of his platypus costume and shucked himself free of the disguise. The land in front of Rose Talisman rose up to greet her with a violent caress, breaking her harmonica. Stebbins Boulder vowed silently to discover why his bath attendant was an elephant. Walking in triumph, Jones wondered how he […]

behold turkeys not seen the bent fence trots by the yellow serentiy of phantoms breeze shivered waiting

Long before Janet won the first Academy Award for acting, she: a. toured in a vaudeville act called ‘Jan and Hair’. b. considered trying to make a living by throwing a discus into a barrel. c. almost drowned while shampooing her hair. d. roomed with two centipedes and a mynah bird.

Pembrook huddled high in the tree. Sweat trickled down his spine, beaded on his forehead. Yes, his forehead was beneath his spine. Was he safe from his pursuer? Time would tell. Or would it? Time couldn’t be trusted, Pembrook thought bitterly. His survival depended on his remaining perfectly silent. So naturally his throat tickled and […]

Mason Jarr felt certain of one thing, and one thing only. If he remained perfectly still, all would be fine. He hired brutes to tie him upright to the wall and tube him extensively so that he could not and would not move. He spent three years motionless attached to the wall, and all was […]

Delvin lowered the green visor into place. The countdown continued. He shortened, flexing his knees in preparation for the leap. At zero, he hurled himself into the ether, hugging hard his torso and pressing his chin to his chest. A silent minute seemed an empty eternity. Then he felt the slow collapse into syrup. An […]

solipsism embedded in perfume self-negating ombudsmen need not apply the pen of your aunt is not i repeat not on the table

Loon: Today for the 3 question interview we welcome the ghost of the famous Roman emperor, Nero. Your Royal Elevatedness, welcome. Do you speak American? Nero’s ghost: Si, amigo. Loon: Uh, I mean American like in Omaha. Do you speak that? Nero’s ghost: But of course. I speak everything. I’m a genius. Loon: What is […]

Trying not to display the significant amount of trepidation she felt, Shoemaker entered the bait shop. A swift glance found the proprietor seated behind a neatly cluttered counter. Snagged in frozen avalanche down the face of his many pocketed canvas vest were legions of feathered barbs. ‘Moving down or up or not is what the […]

You crawl up the dune on hands and knees. Your clothes are in tatters. Your heart hammers in your chest, and your breathing is labored, like a faltering steam engine trying to haul a hundred cars of coal against a furious shrieking wind. Why are you there? You don’t know. You don’t remember. You are […]