July 16, 2009


WRITER:        We open with tumbling cars exploding along a highway in the desert at dawn. The girl is running across the dunes. The helicopter chasing her explodes and tumbles to crash behind her. The music …

HONCHO:      This isn’t a musical, is it? No musicals. I hate musicals. Musicals suck. How many explosions you got? Get back to the explosions.

WRITER:        Right. Well, there’s when the girl tapes the giant diamond to the tracks. The train comes roaring along, hits the diamond, and is thrown tumbling through the air exploding. That’s a good one.

HONCHO:      What else?

WRITER:        I have this swerving armored car gun battle that ends with all five of them tumbling off the cliff exploding into the river. The girl steps to the edge of the road and throws herself off to hang by a root when the small plane tumbles crashing into the road and exploding on the very spot where she was just standing.

HONCHO:      Nice touch. What else?

WRITER:        We have the unfinished freeway topple with eight busses tumbling and exploding. The girl saves herself by jumping from the motorcycle before it tumbles and explodes on the pile of busses.

HONCHO:      What else?

WRITER:        I’m really excited about the ending. The girl is walking along by this stream through this little green forest and she comes to a clearing where she spots this cottage. And for the first time in the whole picture she smiles. Then out of nowhere here comes this car tumbling and exploding right in front of her before it freezes midair. The end.

HONCHO:      Not bad. Look. Bottom line. How many cars and whatnot do you have tumbling exploding in the script?

WRITER:        Let’s see … busses, cars, helicopters, planes, tanks, ocean liners … ballpark figure, 65.

HONCHO:      Can you make it 100?

WRITER:        I can make it 125!

HONCHO:      Back off, captain. I asked for 100. Let’s try to keep it real.

WRITER:        100. No problem. Perfect. Deal?

HONCHO:      Deal.

Leave a Reply