July 29, 2009

The Biggest Tree

The biggest tree stood twice as tall as any other in the forest.

“I can see to Pittsburgh,” boasted the biggest tree.

“Who cares?” piped up a young Douglas fir growing carelessly by the stream. “You’re fat.”

“Why, you miserable little toothpick, I’ll …”

With great effort, the biggest tree wrenched itself to fall crashing toward the insolent fir. The fir, who had been planning for and longing to meet this moment for fifty-three years, spun quickly away, deftly pulling up its roots and dancing in triumph around and about and on the fallen giant.

“Missed me! Missed me! Didn’t see that comin’, did ya, big boy? And guess what. Guess what. Go ahead. Guess!” taunted the fir.

The biggest tree stuffed branches into its ears, closed its eyes and shut tight its mouth in a grim line.

“Nothin’ to say, huh?” continued the sassy fir. “Well, listen to this. I’m GOIN’ to Pittsburgh! Ha! Walkin’ there! How do ya like that?”

And the Douglas fir did go to Pittsburgh, where it was celebrated and decorated and placed in the biggest church. All agreed it was the finest Christmas tree ever in the gloried and storied history of Pittsburgh, California.

Moral: A patient tree is a happy tree.

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