THE WICKED STEPMOTHERS CLUB
Roars of laughter came rolling in waves from the conference room where 75 members of the Wicked Stepmothers Club were gathered. Jane Sturp-Henshaw, PFLAAB (president-for-life-and-anything-beyond) of the WSC, was well into her annual speech welcoming the delegates to the convention. Her topic was ‘What Bliss to be Free if Just for a Weekend the Curse of the Snot-nosed Brats’. After having succeeded in lifting the mood to one of general merriment, Jane invited the ladies to follow their inner demons and visit the ten ice-breaker topic tables placed around the room, each table being equipped with stacks of pamphlets and hostessed by an eager and knowledgeable wicked stepmother attired in proper Gale Sondergaard, Judith Anderson, or Margaret Hamilton array. In happy hubbub, the members milled and gathered, milled and gathered. The topic tables were identified with placards atop simple centerpieces of sculpted sneers. The various placards read:
1. ‘MESSING WITH THEIR HEADS’
2. ‘SHORTSHEETING TECHNIQUES, ETC.’
3. ‘INVENTIVE PUTDOWNS’
4. ‘HOMEWORK DESTRUCTION STRATEGIES’
5. ‘TRULY TERRIFYING BEDTIME STORIES’
6. ‘STAYING ONE STEP AHEAD OF THE LAW’
7. ‘HOW TO SQUELCH WHINING’
8. ‘PLAYTIME WITH SCISSORS AND TACKS’
9. ‘WINNING THE BLAME GAME’
10. ‘LOWEST RATED BOARDING SCHOOLS’
After about an hour, the whole group went down to the bar and got plastered. The weekend was off to a promising start.
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