December 31, 2009

1. Behave like a rodent.

2. Get more shredded weevil into my diet.

3. Take a train to Madagascar.

4. Host a buzzard-emptying party.

5. Micromanage a harlot’s schedule.

6. Learn more about Captain Kangaroo’s stock broker’s accountant.

7. Skip every other Tuesday.

8. Work in a nightingale factory.

9. Pay off oxygen debt.

10. Replace lawn with a phalanx of demitasses.

11. Do more incoherent furious ranting.

12. Continue blaming magic elves for my own shortcomings.

13. Spend more time in the chimney.

14. Implant Hershey bar into the brain of a wallaby.

15. Stir fry a woodchuck.

2 Responses to “THE LOON’S RESOLUTIONS FOR 2010”

  1. Oh I do hope I make the guest list for the buzzard-emptying party!

  2. You can come if you bring the meathooks.

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