February 8, 2011

With tentacles dangling beneath wrinkled red globular heads, the aliens drifted downward through Earth’s atmosphere like tiny parachutes of menace. Gathering in force near Fresno, they attacked, emitting a pungent scent not unlike that of the most wretched porcupine you’ve ever encountered. The population swooned to death, and the aliens took Earth home with them, had it bronzed, and placed it beside Shakespeare’s wife on their second best bed.

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