DEBORAH CARMODY
The action takes place in a coal mine. The harpist enters from the left, the pregnant lion tamer from the right.
Harpist (strumming): Do you recall Deborah Carmody, my comely vixen?
Pregnant Lion Tamer (leering grotesquely): Why yes, I believe I do. Wasn’t she the swimming teacher who invested all her savings into straw?
Harpist (mugging horribly): No, no, that was Alan Pinker, wogga wogga. Deborah Carmody was the soprano chosen to represent Belgium after the broom incident, ent, ent, ent.
Pregnant Lion Tamer (running in place vigorously): Ah, yes, I remember now. Whatever became of her?
Harpist (shouting): That’s just what I was going to tell you. It seems that she was captured last night when she tried to squeeze frozen marmalade out of …
The ghost of Graham Chapman, clad in a British Army officer’s uniform and a tutu, interrupts while entering from the left: No, no, no, stop this at once. It’s entirely too silly. Go away, both of you. Scat!
The harpist and the pregnant lion tamer exit meekly. The ghost of Graham Chapman glares about and begins to dance.
