THE RACE TO THE HAUNCH

August 2, 2011

Henry VIII Bette Davis

a nice juicy haunch

Hedda Hopper President Taft

Ambrose Bierce cannon

The participants were arrayed thusly in the field. Henry VIII, squired by Bette Davis, readied himself for the sprint, knees bent, flexing his fingers. President Taft, eagerly grinding his teeth and fairly trembling at the sight of the haunch, was restrained with some difficulty by his attendant, Hedda Hopper. When Ambrose Bierce touched off the cannon, the king and the president lunged into action. The outcome is pictured below.

President haunch Taft

Yes, Bette Davis, secretly worried about the king’s weight, had tripped him, thereby paving the way to victory for a gleeful Taft.

Leave a Reply